HIGHER OBEDIENCE IS MOVING

Hi there, this is the last entry I'm writting here. I've been looking at wordpress for bloging and I've found it easier to work with and nicer as well. So I'm moving! I'll continue to think and wonder on:

www.higherobedience.wordpress.com

It's not so hard to remember.
Thanks Jason for "introducing" me to wrodpress.

See you there maybe.

Passing By

The earth is the Lord’s,
And everything in it,
The world,
And all who live in it;

For He founded it upon the seas
And established it upon the waters.

Who may ascend the hill of the Lord?
Who may stand in His holy place?

He who has clean hands and a pure heart
(Psalm 24:1-4a)

Show me your ways, O Lord,
Teach me your paths;
Guide me in your truth and teach me,

For you are God my Savior,

And my hope is in you all day long.
(Psalm 25:4-5)


BANK FOR NATIVE MISSIONARIES: 0$ as of August 5, 2006.
www.banknm.blogspot.com

a Well

"You cannot bring this foreign religion and corrupt the minds of our people," screamed the angry villagers. "If you don't stop, we'll kill you."

Prabahulal, a Gospel for Asia native missionary, received this dire threat when he first started his church-planting work in rural Rajasthan, India. And things didn't exactly improve when the first villgers received Christ as Savior. They were hated, branded as low castes and treated as dirt.

The believers were not even allowed to draw water from the public well. This was an enormous harship for the Christians, especially the women, during the hot summer months. They had to walk long distances to ger water and carry heavy pots home on their heads.

In spite of the animosity and opposition, however, their number grew. Some 75 to 80 people gathered for worship each Sunday...

Then, last October, God rewared the faithfulness of these dear brothers and sisters through one of Gospel for Asia friends who sponsored the drilling of a Jesus Well in their village.

Imagine the joy of the Christians when they received their own well as a gift from the Lord and from the Body of Christ! And just try to picture the amazement of their "enemies" when the believers invited them to draw water freely from the Jesus Well!

Within a month, the hostile attitude of the villagers began to change. They became friendlier and started to intereact with the believers as they drew water for themselves and their cattle. Most of all, the Jesus Well opened the door for Prabhulal and the other believers to build relationships and share the Gospel with those who formely refused to listen.

You see, each Jesus Well as has inscription that encourages those who draw water to ask the missionaries for an explanation. The inscription reads: Jesus Christ says: "Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. (John 4:13-14)

Consider this: Jesus promised a reward to those who give a cup f water to one of His followers (Mark 9:41). Today, through a Jesus Well, you have the opportunity to provided a river of life to an entire village in His name!

The average cost to drill one of these wells is 1000$. With this month's moneys, we'll sponsor one. I know we won't get 1000$, but please, as you seek to help our brothers and sisters outside our America to bring the Gospel to people who never heard about Jesus, please give. Send Gospel for Asia your few bucks, send me your few bucks so we can add everybody's bucks to this bank and send a little more together a the end of this month.

By the way, our 18$ was sent for June & July, just today.

Thank you!

The Circle & The Parable of the Sower

How to spend an evening: let’s watch a movie. But there’s nothing interesting on tv. What shall we do? Let’s look at the movies we own. How about The Circle. You haven’t seen it mom? Well it’s sort of weird and scary. Fine, will watch it.
While I was waiting for my mom to get ready for the movie, I went to the/my room and one of the first thing I saw on my bed was a book entitled “The Rest of God” by Mark Buchanan. I felt so strange. We were about to watch this weird, scary to a certain level, a movie a bit, well there’s no language or sex or stuff like that, but watching it won’t give you good feelings, it’s not going to lift you up.
When I was waiting for my mom I was obviously thinking about the movie we were about to watch and try to remember what it was and it just seemed to be a bit dark. When I looked at the book, my mind shifted to something so peaceful. I remembered the time I had spent earlier that day reading the book by the lake, feeling the fresh wind over my face, hearing the sound of the endless waves, it was just so good, so peaceful, so restful. I struck me how quickly my mind could be lifted up simply by seeing something. The contrast was just huge.
Then I thought I shouldn’t watch it. But I did.
I remember a time in my life (maybe 3-4 years ago) claiming that God hadn’t created us so we would scare ourselves “on purpose” or have feelings that aren’t true. Movies produces in us feelings that… I don’t know. When these feelings are negative, then I thought it was obvious we shouldn’t be desiring them.
But it seems as if my views have changed. Or maybe I have forgotten.
I’m not trying to set the line here between the kinds of movies we should watch and those we shouldn’t watch. I’m just wondering what’s the worth. Especially when the simple sight of a good book lifts me, cheers me up.
There’s good and there’s best eh?

The parable of the Sower

« A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell…” (Mark 4:3-4)

I read that passage this morning. Now I wonder: The farmer sows the seed, the farmer scatters the seed. He does it. The seed doesn’t say a thing, the seed doesn’t choose to move from one soil to the other. The seed fall to the ground and that’s it. Looking at this parable this way makes me think as if God (the farmer) is to blame if the seed aren’t all in the good soil. And as if the seed have no choice in becoming a great big plant bearing fruit or to be scorched by the sun. Doesn’t it sound strange? Well, I don’t know but maybe this is not the point of the parable at all. Maybe I was never supposed to look at it this way. Who knows.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 18$ as of July 28 2006

Mamon

So yesterday I spent pretty much my day going from one place to another around Montréal. I got my license renewed (I was supposed to do that about 5 months ago…)! So I can drive now, beware though, it’s been more than 7 months since I drove a car. Anyways, I was a bit sick in the afternoon: Doggy here broke a big flower vase that stood in a stand and now my mom and I (unfortunately) were shopping for a new one. It was just sick because for them, spending 200$ on a decorative vase is like buying a hamburger at Mc Donald’s.
To me it’s just sick to think that people get discouraged because they have to choose between these 35 different 200$-flower-pots while so many children can’t even sleep because they worry about the food they’ll eat in the morning, knowing that it won’t be there. To me that doesn’t make sense at all, it makes me sick, so sick.

What do we do with our money? I am not rich and probably most people reading this blog aren’t rich and would even think they’d need a little help here and there to pay for studies and rent and so on. We usually don’t purchase expensive stuff just for fun or because we feel like it. But still, I am challenged with the way I spend my money. Because there are ways to help those who go hungry, or without clothes, or without means to bring the Gospel to people around them, there are ways. But I guess I care about myself first and I think I need this cd, this book, this shirt, before I think of those around me who’d need my help much more. Isn’t it the way Jesus lived and taught us to live? To put our own self aside and care for others. And caring for others isn’t only about “encouraging” or “being there for them” or etc. it’s about giving of our resources, our time, our belongings, our money to help those in need and our brothers and sisters in Christ.
“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.” – Luke 9:23

''... and Egypt's scepter will pass away.'' - Zechariah 10:11b

I just got back from camp. Thanks to all of you who prayed for my time at camp, I've ahd a great time and I was able to stay three weeks instead of one, I thank God for this open door.

The other morning I read in Zechariah, I haven't been noticing much since a while in my readings, so I was encouraged to read verse 11b. When life's tough, when we're suffering in our bodies or because of Christ, when this world is unjustm it's good to be reminded that ''Egypt's scepter will pass away''.
Sin's strong grip on us shall leave us. Our ''enemies'' shall be captured for good. Disease and pain and sorrow shall go away. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, even when we can't see it yet.
I see it this way: God is full control of this universe, under Him are angels, Satan and demons, working for or against God and then, there's us -human beings. Bad stuff can happen and life can be harsh at times, this world is unfair and the way governments work in different countries and etc. isn't ''lovely'' at all all the time, and we might feel like our lives are horrible and nothing works properly, maybe we're longing for justice and peace, for healing and health, for love and understanding, but these things aren't always part of our lives, or the lives of our brothers and sisters around this world. But we must take courage. Because God, who is supreme and and thw Head of all, always has the last word. And He says to His people that Egypt's scepter will pass away.
You know the book of Revelation and the many promises in the Word about God's people, they shall be fulfilled, at one point in history. Maybe not right now, but our hope cannot fade away only because we can't see with our eyes today the fulfillment of God's promises in our lives. I'd say that it's rather selfish from us to think that way. Let us love and hope. These two are free anyways.

By the way, I know I haven't writen much about the Bank for Native Missionaries, but it's still going on. We're at 18$ right now. Giving money to our brothers and sisters overseas who are struggling to feed themselves and their families and to bring the Gospel to people who never heard the Name of Jesus Christ is obviously part of God's will for us who live in such a great abundance! Please think of ways to save a few bucks here and there and give them right to Gospel for Asia, or myself for this bank or to any Christian organization that's truly bringing the Gospel to unreached people.
By the way, I'm no longer living in Saskatchewan, so forget about my Sask. address. You can send your buck or two to:

Love

I am sitting on my bed, in a rather warm, humid cabin at camp. I am not doing anything with camp this week, I’m giving a hand in the Bible School office for little things that need to be done, but I’m still living in a cabin with a few camp staff. Today was a really hot day and went I say hot, I mean cookin’ hot. It’s not just about the heat, it’s a lot about humidity, so let’s say, it was about 40 degree Celsius today. It was a blessing for me to be working in the basement because it was almost cool down there. People leaving the building would tell me that they were entering a furnace. Anyways, it’s hot here and I’m not feeling so well, I’m coughing from my cold and I’ve got a headache because of it and I’m sweating, I feel like sleeping but who wants to sleep in a humid cabin? I shall wait a bit. On top of all these little things that make me feel a bit sick and tired, I’m an a thinking mood. And I don’t like to be wanting to think when I don’t feel well enough to think because it’s hard on myself. Anyways I probably don’t make much sense to the reader.

I’ve been thinking a bit about something rather tough. Why is it that we, as Christians in North America, look so much like the rest of the world around us, act pretty much the same way and love the same stuff? We are all sinners it’s true, but why isn’t there a bigger gap in between those who follow Christ and those who don’t? I’m not saying we should live secluded from the world, but I’m saying that we should be different from the unbelievers, shouldn’t we? Shouldn’t we be appalled at sin, shouldn’t we be caring for the hurting, the hungry and our brothers and sisters around us and the world before our own selves? That means the way we use money should change, radically, for some of us.

How are we going to be recognized as followers of Jesus (not because we want to be cool because we are), it is by the love we have for one another.

Fun fun fun

Camps aren’t perfect and sometimes things don’t work as they are meant to work and need fixing. In one of the girls’ cabins, hot water isn’t working, so after three days of either cold shower or no shower at all, counsellors asked if they could send their girls have a quick shower in our (2 staff and I) cabin. There was just no way we couldn’t say no, especially when the counsellors are telling us about the Doritos smell in the morning. Anyways, I won’t go there. So we had 3 girls coming last night when the second girl came in, she shut the door of the cabin behind her and started to sing a song that we sing before meal times. It’s on the “We will rock you” melody. It goes like this (but in French):

Eternal Father, Lord and King
You give us all we need
You put food in our plates
That fills our belly
Thank you for the food that taste good
Thank you Jesus, Thank you
Thank you Jesus, Thank you

She kept singing that until she was done and opened the door of the bathroom to leave. She even clapped her hands at some points. I didn’t know the song but heart before, but since last night, it’s an easy one for me.
I just thought that it was just… sweet that a little girl was simply singing these words in her shower because I could remember myself thinking about next week already in my shower that morning. Using every single bit of time I could to plan ahead and think how things could work and the like. I don’t know, I guess there is a time for everything under the sun, a time to think and a time to sing but… I wish I could just “fly away” from my days and sing in the shower, carefree.

I like the ministry our cabin has (…) every day we get counsellors asking us if they can use one of the beds in our cabin to sleep away their “only” free hour during their day. It’s really neat to be able to use our “quiet” cabin for their good. It’s a safe place to sleep and to cry.

Anyways I should get going now.

I'm just a Child

Last Saturday I was off for the afternoon and a few staff and I went to some staff’s place to relax. I sat down in a chair and grabbed a book from a little table, I don’t even remember the title of it, something about lament / sorrow. Anyways I was so tired that I started to read it out loud for the girls around and then as they fell asleep, I went on in my head. I then kept reading and falling asleep and reading some more and falling asleep. I knew I was not going to get very far in the book, but still, I think it started something good in me. I can’t really describe what it did to me and I don’t even really remember why, but it seems as if these days, since I started reading that book, that I realize a bit more that I am just a child in need of my Father God. I realize that I am very little and that I am foolish and immature, that I need to go to Jesus all the time, that I need His wisdom, that it’s ok to run to Him, to cry out to Him, to be dependent on Him for everything. There is no such thing as “spirituality” or “maturity” that really means anything… as long as we always realize our deep need of a Father who takes care of us, to whom we should run to. Yes the Bible talks about being mature and “whole” but I am wondering if this “maturity” is actually, partially, a knowledge and a confession of our own inability, of our deep need for a Father, a Creator who’d walk by us every hour, because that’s the sort of relationship He has created us for. So I understand more and more that I do not know God much, that what I know isn’t a reason to boast or a righteousness of any kind. He calls me to simply rely on Him for everything. And not simply the bigger stuff… it’s maybe more something like an attitude of the heart, to acknowledge that I am just a child, even though I think I know much, or do more than other “Christians”. It sort of a good feeling too. To know that God wants to take care of me and that I am allowed to come to Him at any moment and cry out to Him with a child’s tears.

Tired

So life's been a tiny bit busy this last week and it's looking the same for this coming week! Amen! As the reader knows I've been serving as camp director here at Word of Life in Québec this last week. Everything went fine, it was not the best camp ever but I praise God for the good week and good weather and especially for the staff. Things went fine and campers were hard-core at some points and dealing with some of them was sometimes discouraging, tiring, frustrating, funny and dumb. You know it's really funny how some kids get frustrated with nothing important but they then become a pain to deal with and we are now frustrated and ready to leave camp running, only because some kids don't want to go to bed or because they can't sleep outside that night because they were not obedient. Anyways this all seem to be a lot childish but we as "adults" aren't in their world anymore so it's frustrating. But God calls us to love them and help them. Thank you all for your prayers. I am sorry this entry is sort of just about me, but I do have some better things to write about... I'm just really tired right now. Please keep praying for me, I'll be here this coming week too.

Prayer Requests

So I found myself very blessed. They hooked my laptop to their computer system here at camp. So I can print out my stuff and even go on the internet. But I won't be using this laptop so much in the coming week. It'll be fairly busy.

Could you please take a moment to pray for me right now.

I had a month to put everything together for this one-week camp here in Québec and now it's starting tomorrow. It'll be interesting and stretching for me in different ways. Especially because I was never a camp director before and I'm not always sure of how to do things and delegate the work.

Please pray for God to provide me with the leadership and wisdom I need.
Dealing with schedules, staff, kids...

Thank you.

Could you also pray that I would get my 2 suitcases (that are right now "lost" somewhere in Montreal I think) we had some problem with flights and stuff when I came back on Thursday and I don't have my 2 luggage since. Everything or almost all I own is in them. So I find myself with just one set of clothes and a few t-shirts from my mom. That's no fun especially that I am at camp and it's raining and hot and then sunny... anyways, thank you.

Community

“I will miss living in this community of saints, I would like to stay here forever.” This last word, Forever, came on my lips without really thinking. But as soon as I said it, I realized that it meant a great deal. For the first time, the sorrow I experienced in leaving a community of Christians did not feel so selfish or made me think I was just weak for being sad. This time I realized that my longing to be with God’s people was God’s desire for His children. He wanted us to live together in His city of gold, He wanted us to enjoy Him together. Then I realized why I loved bible colleges so much: it was a glimpse of how my heavenly home would be. But I know, just a glimpse.

It gives me a new breath to know that God knows how I’m feeling, that my desire to be with His people is from God. It gives me more courage to fly home tomorrow, leaving behind the blessings of this community called Bethany College because I know that God is telling me that it’ll be alright, that He knows how painful it is and that it won’t take to long for me to finally go home forever, in His community of the saints. It’ll be alright.

Knowing that God understands and has a mansion for me in His city does help, but still it is hard and harsh and it hurts (words starting with h are horrible words) on this earth. It is still tough for me to leave, because I don’t want what I think is in front of me.

But oh well. It’ll all be over pretty soon anyways. So may I be found living with the hope and joy that one day I’ll have my longing to be with God and His people forever, fulfilled.


I am leaving this peaceful Saskatchewan on Wednesday June 28 2006. I’m going back to my homeland, Québec. I’ll be missing Saskatchewan, Bethany and most of all, the people. But it’s time for me to say good-bye, good night.

I will be fairly busy and without internet at least until July 8. So this blog will remain the same for a while. Do come by though. I might be able to add some thoughts at some point. But maybe not.

I’ll be camp directing for a week so you all can pray for that. I still do not think I’m the right person for this good service. Pray for leadership and wisdom, pray for humility and that I’d use all the resources I have in me but most of all, around me for Jesus’ sake.

Write to you later.
Oh, I’m flying Wednesday @ 18:30 (Sask. time) pray for safety and no luggage problem.
Gabrielle

“But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions- it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages He might show the incomparable riches of His grace expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus.” – Ephesians 2:4-6

Let us Love and Sing and Wonder

I sometimes wonder the usefulness of certain rules that we Christians create out of our own judgment. Why do we need to put loads on our brothers and sisters who are eager to follow Christ? Why do we care so much about what people might think of our family, our church, or our organization? And by “people” I’m mostly talking about Christians.
I’m realizing that the rules we set up ourselves are usually not for our own betterment or our own spiritual growth, they are there for the world around us. We say we have certain rules so that we would not offend other Christians, the purpose of the rules is praiseworthy but when we think about it, many of us obey them because if we don’t, then people will be offended at us. Do I make sense? Our desire is no longer to care for our brothers and sisters with a (and I don’t say that lightly) weaker faith, but it is to care for our own reputation as a Christian family, Christian church or Christian organization. There is no more meaning to the rules when we act that way. If we would truly care about the saints, we wouldn’t care so much about our little reputations and how people might see us. We all want to look good and spiritual, but we aren’t good and spiritual.

I am mainly thinking about external rules, like how one is expected to dress at church or to look like in everyday life. Why do we add burden upon burden on our back and the backs of other Christians when Christ has called us to freedom? I believe that the freedom Christ has called us to usually do not bear the meaning we think it does. I don’t know much about this freedom so take my words as words and words only.
Christ’s call to freedom does not mean that we can do as we please, it means that those who are mature in the faith should stoop down to the level of the saints who aren’t mature enough to understand the big picture of what freedom in Christ is. The mature are called to be gentle with the weak and help them grow so that they come to maturity and then see what freedom is, that they don’t need all these rules and should not think that if some Christians drink wine or doesn’t wear dress pants at church, it’s fine!

I do not believe that Christ wants us to follow a bunch of external rules so we would look good in the eyes of Christians, so that we would not offend them. I believe that there is a proper time and place to observe these “unwritten” laws though. When I go to a different church, I always inquire to my friends how they dress at that church, so I am not offending anybody. I think that if Jesus would be ruling –physically- over the Church today, many laws and rules we have would be abolished. He would call us to freedom again. Christ wants us to put our own selves out of the way so we can love and care for others. Why should we tell people how to live –according to our own thinking of what a good Christian should look like and live and our own interpretation of the Word?

A.W.Tozer wrote:
“Be hard on yourself and easy on others. Carry your own cross but never lay one on the back of another.”

Let us live for Christ. Let us be free. But most of the time today, we are called to bend to the rules our brothers and sisters hold on to so dearly and then help them grow and see that Christ calls us to freedom, not to a set of rules, He calls us to peace and love that are true, not superficial and based on the places we go or the way we shave (or not) for church. We may have rules for ourselves, but let is remain to ourselves only. May the burdens we create be on our own shoulders, because we believe it’ll help us to be more like Christ (knowing that legalistic spirits are wrong). May we never start thinking that if others don’t live as we do, they’re not as good as us.

It’s between the Lord Jesus and us. What others may think is between the Lord and them. He is Ruler over all. Let us seek the good of His saints, in whatever way Jesus calls us to love them. Sometimes, I think Jesus wants us to “offend” fellow Christians in order to open their eyes… But there is a time for that and it is never done because of anger or of a “I am more holy so I know better” attitude. It is done with a heart that longs to see Jesus’ children understanding the truth, a deep love for them.

There is much more to say about this, but I don’t want to be too long, it’s been long enough. Let’s just be smart and full of love. Let’s consider why we think the way we do about rules and why we expect certain things from people and if these expectations are good or just burdensome.

By the way, I am probably worse than most people at that love command. I may write about it, but I don’t do much about it. Pray for me. I have such a strong legalistic spirit.

Thinking on a Roof

Today was a really good day. For the first time in a month I really felt like I was relaxing. I haven’t spent my free time without thinking about camp and when I wasn’t it was because I was somewhere else like Bigstone or Regina with friends, that’s not the times when I really relax. Anyways, today was Saturday and because camp stuff is under control, I found myself on a roof watching cars running in each other and making much noise. Today in Hepburn they had this event, I don’t know how they call it but a bunch of cars in a circle just run into each other for fun, the last car still running at the end is the one winning. I think I found the best spot, but don’t tell anybody. The event took place right in front of Bethany campus. So I went into the guys’ dorm (no worries there’s no guys living there at this time of the year) and I went on the roof of the dorm and walked all the way to the other side where I sat down. I could see everything, the crowd, the cars, the fire fighters very well. It was neat to be sitting there, but I did not enjoy the sight too much. Cars bumping in each other, setting on fire sometimes, car pieces ejected in the air, strong noise. I just felt like … that’s pointless.

It made me think about something though. These drivers’ purpose was to destroy everybody else around (and I’m sure they wanted to have fun too). But as I was watching them I just thought that the idea was stupid.
Sometimes we act the way these drivers do. We pick on everyone around us (yes on our brothers and sisters in Christ) and we are quick to find any black spot in them. We might not know it or realize it, but basically we like putting people down so we look better than them. It’s not just “fun” to talk about “this person who did this and that” it makes us feel good about ourselves. But really, as these cars running into each other, we are as stupid when we pick on people. That’s the same thing, we are destroying (not cars but) relationships, people’s reputations and other people’s fragile opinion of them.

When people around me say bad things about others, my perception of them (if I don’t know them well enough) changes for the bad. I believe that this is really unfortunate, it’s bad. We have to be careful when we talk about others because it doesn’t affect only ourselves (which is bad enough, we sin) but it affects people who are listening. They might grow bitter against these people or against you (that’s probably the way I’d be)! Because they’d be sick of your negative talk.

Anyways. Let us enjoy our today and be pleasant in the way we speak of others. Amen.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 8$ as of June 24, 2006 www.banknm.blogspot.com
* This month’s monies will actually be joined with July’s, at the end of July. Thank you for considering helping our brothers and sisters out there and doing something about it somehow by giving or prayer, or whatever.

By the way: BONNE ST-JEAN BAPTISTE!

My Peace

I am usually not under pressure, or at least, I usually don’t feel it. But right now, tonight, I feel anxiety growing in my soul. It’s been a month now that I’ve been spending planning for this one-week camp, 99% of all my evenings and 50% of my weekends were burned up in thinking and organizing. Now that my departure from Saskatchewan is coming up very soon it means that camp is awaiting me right at the arrival area in the Montréal airport. Well, not exactly, but it feels like it. And even though it’s not something I am used to experience, I feel anxiety in me. I feel like there are too many details to think and ask and talk about, too many things I need to buy yet, so much to plan, man. I feel overwhelmed still I know it’ll be alright. I know it.
At lunch time I was reading a book, “Peace shall destroy many”, and I am glad I read a chapter instead of staring at the lounge by myself.

“According to Christ’s teaching, peace is not a circumstance but a state of being. ... He brought no outward quiet and comfort such as we are ever praying for. Rather, He brought inward peace that is no way affected by outward war, but quietly overcomes it on life’s real battle-field: the soul of man.”

Oh, this is a novel by the way. This is probably the only novel I like, I usually strongly dislike them. But anyways. As I struggle with “everything that needs to be thoughts of and be done” my soul should remain at peace. The worry and questions and overwhelming feelings should go away because that stuff and all circumstances are under the lordship of Christ Jesus. I will do my best to obey my Lord and serve His people, but I am learning right now that I need to have my soul at rest in Jesus first of all, the outcome is in His hand amen.

Jesus I need you so much. In the midst of thinking and planning and organizing, bring your Shalom to my soul, may I trust you, Ruler over all. Thank you so much.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 8$ as of June 21, 2006 www.banknm.blogspot.com

God Speed

As the reader might know, I’ve been living in the not-so-flat province of Saskatchewan for basically two years. I have been spending time in Québec for summer & Christmas vacation but otherwise I have been in Saskatchewan.
These last months went by so quickly and I don’t know if I used my time wisely, or its best. I remember writing here that these months would be a time of loneliness but God has been extremely good to me, He kept me busy and working with good people that life seemed pleasant to me. People would ask me if I was looking forward to leaving Saskatchewan and I’d say that I wasn’t so excited yet because it was too far away. Until this morning I did not really realize that my time here in the Prairies would be over pretty soon, 10 days.
I spent the weekend in Regina, to see some friends one more time before I leave. It’s weird to say good-bye to people I love knowing that it might be the last time I see them on this side of life, and I’m only 21. Traveling back to Saskatoon I caught myself considering many things and realizing that all the time left I had here was 10 days. I wondered about the worth of leaving home, growing relationships and having to leave them probably for ever. I wondered about my tears, if the sorrow of my heart was something God wanted, if it was healthy. I know that it’s good to “mourn” but sometimes I get myself into things that hurt me and there would have been a different way to go that would have been less painful. I don’t know what I’m thinking. Are my friendships worth the pain of saying good-bye? It’s obvious, yes they are. But it’s still hard to embrace and understand why things work that way on earth.

Our God, our God! Your will is unfathomable and perfect. You do not think as we think and your wisdom surpasses all we can understand. Oh, let us all surrender to the desires of your Holy Spirit daily, today, right now. Let us embrace our today because you are in control as we let you be Ruler over us.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 8$ as of June 19, 2006 www.banknm.blogspot.com

God is Here

We have a new cd at work. I mean, someone brought a new cd, which is really nice. It’s Sonicflood’s Generation. I don’t know what I think of it yet, well, I sort of have my own first impression, but I won’t talk about it here. Anyways, there is a song that says something like “God is here, let the broken hearted rejoice, God is here, let the weak say I am strong, God is here…”. It talks about our super-natural God, God of miracles. I don’t know but it makes me feel like, because God comes, God is here, we should rejoice, it’s a happy day, because He is all-powerful and here to help and heal and encourage us. I don’t know how to explain this. The very presence of God should create joy in our hearts because He is the God of miracles who cares for us. God is here, let us rejoice. Everything is truly possible! God is here.

Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; love and faithfulness go before you. Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O Lord. They rejoice in your name all day long; they exult in your righteousness. For you are their glory and strength, and by your favour you exalt our horn.
Psalm 89:14-17

Bank for Native Missionaries: 8$ as of June 14 2006

a Trip

So I got out of little Hepburn for the weekend. One of my (or our) friends has just started her internship in La Ronge area (Northern Saskatchewan) building relationships with the people up there. So I went there with a few friends to visit her and see people around. It was really neat to live in her lovely trailer, make hamburger helper together, watch a movie on her laptop with dill pickle-seasoned pop-corn, shower in her triangle mini-shower, follow her around in the mosquitoes (yes it was raining all weekend long, but mosquitoes were as present as the rain) to see different people, going to church and then to fellowship (can’t use the word church for this one) and eating pig’s neck bones with a family of 1 parent and 7 children and 5 guests. Life up there is different, that’s for sure, I had a good time, but not “good” as “good”, but “good” like … “good” Gabe’s way.

Life for those without Christ in cities seems to be easier than life without Christ in “secluded” areas like Bigstone. Pretty much all the houses were the same size and had the same rectangular shape, there was no beauty to the neighbourhood, mud, dogs, dirty dying dogs, kids playing on wet piles of sand, unpleasant smells a bit everywhere. I mean, the weather did not help at all I know, but still I felt like there was no life, no hope, that people pretty much did not know what to do with their time. I’ve been to some really poor areas near Lafayette, Louisiana a couple of years ago and I sort of felt the same way, people seem to be ok with their lives even when they are living in unhealthy conditions. Maybe I’m mistaken, maybe these men and women are desperately wanting better lives.

The way the planet is working right now is just wrong to me. As Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 4:1 “…I saw the tears of the oppressed –and they have no comforter; power was on the side of their oppressors- and they have no comforter. And I declared that the dead who had already died are happier than the living, who are still alive.” I don’t mean to say that people living in Bigstone would be better off dead. Don’t take me wrong, it simply seems like life is tough and there’s not much hope of a better life. God sent comforters out there, that is for sure. He sent a few missionaries and obviously, my friend is starting a “bring comfort ministry” as I like to think of it. It’s not that these comforters desire for the community to look nicer or be healthier in physical ways, they seek to comfort the soul of individuals with Christ’s love and help them realize that He is all they need. May God bless these comforters and grant them perseverance and to see the fruit of their labor.

I sometimes wonder if we lead mediocre spiritual lives without even knowing it. We tell ourselves that it’s always been that way so we don’t seek any better options, we are ok with it. May God send His comforters to us, may He open our eyes to see how much we need Him, right now, and that we aren’t strong enough or good enough or rich enough, that that stuff does not matter. May we become comforters to those around us that are suffering, let’s give up our bread and our time for the sake of those God desperately want to save, to comfort.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 8$ as of June 12, 2006.

What can I boast about, when the life that I live has been given me
What can I be proud of, but of Jesus who died, to set me free
Set me free
Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom
Let not the strong man boast in his strength
Let not the rich man boast in his riches
For all men are equal down at the cross
Jesus still reaches out
Not matter how far or how weak we are
His love has no bounds
And He reaches the ones down on their knees
On their knees
- The Kry

From K.P.

Vinda and Vasia work primarily among the Dalits (Untouchables) of India’s Maharashtra state, and God has rewarded their dedication with a church of 150 believers … But pastor Vinda and his congregation face a challenge that is all too common among our native missionaries across South Asia: The rented facilities where they meet cannot accommodate all those who so much want to attend the worship services –and their members are too poor to be able to afford a building of their own. …
Right now, Pastor Vinda’s church is just one of more than 1000 on the mission field that urgently need their own buildings. …

Besides running out of space, there are other pressing reasons why churches in Asia need their own worship places. Some are unable to rent meeting places at all because they are located in areas hostile to the Gospel.
Other face restrictions on church activities in their rented facilities, and non-Christians landlords frequently cancel their leases at the least provocation. Many churches are under constant surveillance and harassment by anti-Christian groups because they meet in rented public places.

Any of these things makes it difficult for a pastor to build a solid work, disciple new believers and welcome visitors. What these churches need is their own church home where the believers can grow in their faith and all can worship Jesus without interference.

Although congregations like Pastor Vinda’s cannot meet the entire cost, they are eager to contribute land, material and labor to make “God’s House” a reality in their communities. So Gospel for Asia prayerfully encourages them to proceed with the construction of their church building as far as they possibly can. Again and again I have seen that there is no lack of willingness to sacrifice and work hard for this cause among these first-generation believers!

But the reality is that these believers, mostly Dalits, are desperately poor and cannot finish their church home without help.

So today, I want to ask you to help them.

The church buildings we build on the mission field are simple, concrete-and-brick structures that fit well within their culture and seat about 300 people, which is sufficient for their growing needs. And the cost of one church building comes to about 13200$

This is where God gives us the opportunity to function as the Body of Christ and help meet the needs of our dear brothers and sisters half a world away.

Just think, your gift … will actually help bless one of these Asian congregations with its own place of meeting, worship and ministry –perhaps for the very first time!

And somewhere in Asia, your love and generosity will be the cause of mush rejoicing and praising God from the hearts and lips of those the Lord so recently redeemed by His grace.

K.P. Yohannan
President & Founder of Gospel for Asia www.gfa.org

If you’d like to give, please send the money to
245 King Street E, Stoney Creek, ON L8G 1L9

Or give to this month “Bank for Native Missionaries” all the monies will be sent at the end of the month to Gospel for Asia towards a church building in Asia. As of June 8, 2006 we are at 8$. Thank you in advance!
See www.banknm.blogspot.com for more details on why and how to send help.

Peace.

It was not before coming to Saskatchewan that I realized how “peace” was an important value among Christians. Well I say this very carefully, but this so-called peace is not the shalom God has in mind for His children or the kind of peace Jesus preached. What I am saying is that we Christians want to keep our communities, our work places (if Christian), our churches at peace, this desire is good, but the way we actually “produce” this peace among Christians, is often wrong. Here are some things I’ve figured:
- To avoid conflict is one way to keep everyone at peace;
- To agree with everything someone says keeps our relationship at peace (but it’s fine if I turn around and gossip about this person);
- People and relationships must look peaceful and good from the outside, what’s really going on inside is a different story and that’s fine, we’re at peace!

I’ve been reading in the prophets for a while and I’ve never encountered a passage where God tells a prophet to keep quiet about some people’s sins, because peace would be disturbed and the prophet might look bad in the eyes of these people. Rather, God said that if the prophet would keep quiet, the blood of the people He was about to judge would be on the prophet’s head (see Ezekiel 3:17-19).

Yes we are called to live at peace, but Jesus does not mean “outward” peace, He means real, genuine shalom. If we want to live at peace with our fellow brothers and sisters, we need to deal with them in ways that are “Jesus like”. It requires honesty, humility, selflessness and love… not only from others, but first of all, from ourselves. Peace is no peace at all when our hearts are bitter and our faces are happy. We are fake. When there is a issue, a conflict among us, it doesn’t mean we’re ungodly or “unspiritual”, the way we deal with other people’s mistakes, sins, the way we forgive or not, the way we think about things that frustrate us, will tell if we are truly seeking real peace or simply wanting to take a shortcut to fake peace, building bitterness inside, this I call “immaturity”.

After searching our hearts and finding why we feel the way we do, let’s not be scarred to open up and be seen as we are. Let’s just be honest and true with one another, let’s seek real peace, working through conflicts in godly, mature ways. No body is perfect but we need to be real and stop being so proud about ourselves.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 8$ as of June 7, 2006. www.banknm.blogspot.com

Right Now

Since a long while I couldn’t come up with something to meditate on in my morning readings in the Word of God. I don’t know why, maybe there was nothing to be found, or maybe I was not listening to God’s Spirit who wanted to teach me, maybe it’s not it at all. I do have my ups and downs in my readings and I often feel like it’s been useless, just a routine but sometimes it’s good.
This morning I wrote “NOW” on my right arm. I read in Ezekiel 33 and it gave me peace. Verse 12 says, “… The righteousness of the righteous man will not save him when he disobeys, and the wickedness of the wicked man will not cause him to fall when he turns from it.” God is a God of right now, today. This verse sounds unfair to the ears of the fallen righteous people but it sets the repentant wicked people free. God doesn’t care about what I did yesterday or 10 years ago for Him (although He does) what He cares for the most is my right now, my today.
If I choose today to do as I desire instead of obeying God, I can’t lean on the devotion and the righteous stuff I did in the past, God will deal with me according to what I choose to do right now. In the same way, but somehow the opposite, if I turn to God in spite of yesterday’s sins and do what God asks me to do, God does not deal with me according to the past, but to what I choose to do right now.
I think it’s a real encouragement to know that our God is a God in the present. Yes, He knows what is behind and what is ahead of me and the way I’ll finish the race, but He walks with me day by day and always offers me to obey Him, to have peace, everyday, every time I turn to Him.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 0$ as of June 5, 2006 www. banknm.blogspot.com

There is now a “Prayer Requests” spot at the right of this page. I’ll be sharing different prayer requests I have, feel free to pray for me. If any of you would like to post his/her prayer requests with mine, please email them to me, it would be my joy to pray for you and post them here.

Strong Statements

God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering my son. – Abraham to Isaac, Genesis 22:8

I will not rule over you, nor will my son rule over you. The Lord will rule over you. – Gideon, Judges 8:23

Even if Balak gave me his palace filled with silver and gold, I could not do anything great or small to go beyond the command of the Lord my God. – Balaam to Balak’s messengers, Numbers 22:18

You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will hand you over to me, and I’ll strike you down and cutt off your head. Today I will give the carcases of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands. – David to Goliath, I Samuel 17:45

How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him; bit if Baal is God, follow him. – Elijah to the Israelites, I Kings 18:21

And if I perish, I perish. – Esther to Mordecai, Esther 4:16

Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised. – Job, Job 1:21

Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God. – Solomon, Ecclesiastes 5:7

We do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up. – Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego to king Nebuchadnezzar, Daniel 3:16-18

Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord – God through Joel, Joel 2:13


My favourite one is David to Goliath. I remember reading this passage shivering, not from being cold, but just because these words are so full of faith, so strong, just because our God is really glorious and no one can dare to stand against Him, the Almighty.
I find that reading verses like that creates in me a higher “ideal”, a stronger desire to trust and obey God. For sure, I am not called to says such things right now in my life. My life isn’t not threatened if I speak God’s Word to people, the fate of my nation doesn’t depend on my actions, I am not in trouble like that. But I am faced with small acts of faith compared to these great examples of the Bible. But it’s all about faith in God, knowing that He will act. It’s about being persuaded.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 0$ as of June 3 2006. www.banknm.blogspot.com

Better?

I realize that one has to be ready to serve when one says he wants to serve. I know that it sound obvious, but obviously I did not fully realized what I was saying.
My summer is so unsure. There’s some things I would like to do but at the same time I am restrained by time, space, money and so-called obligations… (like everyone eh?!).
I like to serve at the bible school I attended a couple of years ago, especially for their summer camps. It seems like every summer I am surprised. I’ve been a counsellor, the head counsellor…these two were no surprise for me. Last summer I sent an email to the camp administrator and told him I’d be glad to help at any level for the summer. I thought I’d be a counsellor, which would have been great. But instead he asked me to be supervising and mentoring a bunch of high school girls who would be working in the kitchen of the camp for 6 weeks. Not what I thought, and I knew it’d be much demanding and “self-destroying” (physically & emotionally!) than any other job in the camp. But I did it. It ended up to be even harder then what I thought it would be, but deeply good and the same time. This year I sent an email to the camp guy again, telling him I’d be glad to help them at any level. I was totally not prepared to his offer. I thought he’d say he didn’t need me or that I could be a counsellor, or just helping a bit with different things. He asked me if I’d be interested in being the director of a one-week camp. His other directors for that week had cancelled and he was looking for someone who could fill in… with only one month of preparation left. I had to be serious with him and tell him that my name was Gabrielle Leroux, not Super Leader or Idea Geek. Basically I was excited about the idea, but it seemed unreal, seriously, I don’t think I’m the type of camp director kids from age 11-13 would like to have.
Anyways, I’m learning that telling people I’m willing to serve can mean much more than what my little mind has in mind. So guess what I decided? I told him I was his man. I really have no excuses (he pointed out 4 reasons why he thinks I should do it) and I want to serve so, why not peanut!
It’s not that I didn’t want to do it, I believe that it’s going to be really good for me to experience all of that, I just feel like I’m not the perfect person for that job. I think God is really neat though. He seems to be pushing me to do things and go places where I first thought I would never do or go. God is neat and even though sometimes it feels scary, it’s really exciting.
Man I am so tired. I praise God for the opportunity He’s given me. You see, amidst uncertainty about ourselves and our ability (or lack of it), God’s the leader and He’s doing it, so just follow, it’ll be alright.

Christ alone

Sometimes I think that some day I could totally give up. Tired of following rules and disciples for a God I never saw, sick of the unanswered prayers I sent up for years, overwhelmed by self-denial and the beating of my flesh all of that for a Savior I never touched. But then I am reminded by the Spirit of Christ that I live by faith. I live by faith. This is my lot, it is my glory. I’m not called to live according to what my eye can see and my hands can touch. I will trust God that He exists and hears me and will act for His good –even when I don’t see any good. Not in my time, in His time will He bless me. I will always pray and trust that He will act, I know He will. I shall live by faith. When I realize that I’m slowly giving up, I must remember that I don’t live by sight and by my own will, but by faith right now here on earth. I need to go on, to persevere. There is no salvation apart by faith in the grace of God, Jesus His Son. And I will hang on to Jesus, even when I don’t understand, simply because that’s what He asks of me, to trust Him, to live by faith.
I like these words from the song -In Christ Alone-

In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground, firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace, when fears are stilled, when striving cease
My comforter, my All in all, here in the love of Christ I stand
In Christ alone who took on flesh, fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of life and righteousness, scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died, the wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid, here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay, Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day, up from the grave He arose again
And as He stands in victory, sin’s curse has lost it’s grip on me
For I am His and He is mine, bought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of men, can ever pluck me from His hand
‘Til He returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

Bank for Native Missionaries: 0$ as of May 29, 2006. Our 20$ was sent today to Gospel for Asia to help provide a bicycle to one of their needy missionary in Asia. Thank you.
www.banknm.blogspot.com

Faith Journey

Some people wonder what is going on with my « faith journey » that I started in the beginning of 2006 as I applied to university. Not knowing where to apply and why exactly and how it’d be possible for me to actually attend and where I’d live and how I’d pay for it all. Time, 3 negative answers on 4 from universities and my own lack of faith made me think the trip was over and that I was done with this idea of university for this fall. God had not the same view of things though. He called me back in mid-April reminding me I was still driving “somewhere” with Him, I probably had slept for a while and did not realize I was still in the car. Anyways, I had this choice to make, choose to go the test the university of Quebec wanted me to go for in August and then from there, know if I’m good enough to pass their second test and then know in mid-August if I’ll be starting university or not, OR moving with a few friends at 2 and a half hours away from university in August, but I needed to tell them my final decision in April. Basically God was saying to me, “Gabe you choose between being safe with your friends or putting your faith in me and try the test.” Gulp. So obviously I could not set myself against God’s “better” will for me and I said no to my friends. God stopped the car and asked me where I wanted to go, I’m still in for the faith journey and I think it is interesting and really good. I won’t know what will happen to me until mid-August. I can’t plan anything for the fall before that, or sort of, nothing official. I am happy that I chose to put my confidence in God, not in my own ideas and plans.

All of my ambitions, hopes and plans, I surrender these into your hands
For it’s only in your will that I am free, for it’s only in your will that I am free
Jesus all for Jesus, all I am and have, and ever hope to be
Jesus all for Jesus, all I am and have, and ever hope to be

That’s neat, that’s the song that is playing right now.
It did not happen very often that I felt God was asking me to follow Him, I mean, in a personal way like this one, calling me on a faith journey and I can’t say no.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 20$ as of May 26, 2006
See www.banknm.blogspot.com for more info.

Religious

Sometimes I get sick of my own “religiosity”, I don’t mean to say that I am religious or pious or anything like that, I’m talking about the things that I do that are what a Christian should do. Every morning I read a passage in the Bible and I try to meditate on it and write down my thoughts. The other day I was reading a note book in which I had written these thoughts, but somehow I just felt sick.
What is the purpose of thinking, talking, writing about God stuff if it does not have an impact on the way I live? Yes, I believe that doing these things will mold my thinking and the way I live in a long-term process, but I believe that the Word of God should and must have a direct, day-to-day impact on me. It will change the way I entertain my mind, the way I am and talk to people, the way I think about myself and others… it will transform my actions, today.
I’ve sometimes wished that all I had was the basics of Christian knowledge, that I would not concern myself with thinking much, but just living out with all my heart what I knew: Jesus died and rose again, I am made righteous by His blood, my sins are forgiven. I think that I miss this childlike faith and simplicity.
I know it is important, and it is a true blessing to be able to learn more and more about my God and His Word. But sometimes I feel like all I’m doing is as good as worthless because I don’t accept Jesus as Master over me, I listen and forget what He teaches me, I count my reputation and my life of greater value than that of Jesus’. I wonder sometimes what is the real good in only talking about good things with other Christians if it does not lead us to radical, practical actions. I sometimes feel like I should say stuff like “So why don’t we do something about it?” and challenge myself and people to godly actions. I believe that most of the time we think that only talking and thinking about Christian stuff excuses us from actually doing things about them. We often mistake knowledge for godliness. Or at least, I often do.
So if you happen to read this post, don’t be afraid to challenge me and ask me how I actually put into action what I think I’m learning.

SALT IS GOOD, BUT IF IT LOSES ITS SALTINESS, HOW CAN IT BE MADE SALTY AGAIN?
Lk 14:34

Bank for Native Missionaries: 20$ as of May 25, 2006.
What is this? Visit www.banknm.blogspot.com
Do not forget our brothers and sisters around the world, do pray for them.

Cheesy

When I heard that I was going on a one day staff retreat in a camp, I just thought it’d be cheesy. You see, the words like “sharing time” and “team building” don’t appeal to me, I dislike having to participate in meetings when some enthusiastic leaders push us to share and make us do cheesy exercises to get to know each other better and the like. I knew it’d be alright but still… Anyways, things turned out really good. Seriously. The people who led us into sharing about God in our lives and understanding how and why we fit (or not in my case!) in our specific departments at the college and etc. were really good and nothing was cheesy. Misconceptions, I have a lot of these.
This I say unto you: Don’t be afraid to be cheesy, sometimes it turns out to be good.

Since today I started to go for walks in the morning. I used to go for walks in the fall of 2004 when I first came to Saskatchewan. I needed this precious time with God every morning. Now, it’s not really that I feel like I need it, but I know that I need it. Because things are going pretty well and I don’t feel like I’m lonely or in a dry season, I don’t feel like I need to spend extended time just pouring out my heart to God. I do read the Bible and pray, but there is something different and deeply good about going for walks in the morning, seeing the sun turning all kinds of colors and talk to Jesus about anything on my heart. My first excuse to God that I couldn’t go for walks was that “I already get up at 6am!” but I know that my excuses are always lame. I’ll see how it goes. This morning I forgot to put my glasses on, that does not happen to me very often. Anyways, these morning walks are precious to me and I hope I will be found faithful.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 20$ as of May 23, 2006.
What’s that? www.banknm.blogspot.com
Please take note that all the money will be sent on May 29, 2006 this month. Thanks to all the givers!

Ezekiel

Our Bank for Native Missionaries just received 6$, thanks to the giver!

This morning I was reading in Ezekiel 18. I never noticed that sort of thing elsewhere in the Bible and I thought it was really interesting. It starts with these words from the Lord:

“What do you people mean by quoting this proverb about the land of Israel: ‘The fathers eat sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge’? As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign Lord, you will no longer quote this proverb in Israel.”

I don’t know why, but the Israelites thought that children paid for their parent’s sins, that it was the way God dealt with them. In Deuteronomy 24:16 we read, “Fathers shall not be put to death for their children, nor children put to death put to death for their fathers; each is to die for his own sin.” Somewhere along the road, people obviously thought differently, I need to look into that, because I am pretty sure it’s written somewhere that children had to bear the consequences of the sins of their parents (but I might be mistaken). Anyways, here’s what is interesting, the response from the Israelites is shocking:

“Yet you (Israel) ask, ‘Why does the son not share the guilt of his father?’” (v.19)

Later, God tells His people that if a wicked person turns to righteousness, that person will surely live, and that if a righteous person turns to wickedness, then, this person will surely die and nothing of his/her former righteousness will be remembered. That’s their response:

“Yet you (Israel) say, ‘The way of the Lord is not just.’” (v.25)

It seems as if for a certain period of time God had made the children share in the guilt of the parents’ sins (I am not sure how true this is, but it seems it is the way that the Israelites perceived it) and now God was telling them that it was not going to be so any longer. These people were probably so rooted in tradition and how things were dealt with, that when a better way was offered, they totally disagreed and even called God unjust. Isn’t that silly?

I wonder if there is anything of the kind happening in our lives right now. Sometimes we are so used to the routine, we hold so tight to the traditions in our churches or denominations, that when God offers us a better way of living, we see it as evil, non-biblical and wrong. That’s what happened to many Christians living in 19th century America. Christians were taking sides, some believed slavery should be abolished and some firmly believed that the Bible taught that slavery was good. They had lived like that since ever but now God was opening the way for more shalom in America, was offering a better way of living. Good Christians held on to their beliefs for slavery and could not understand that it was not God’s idea for His children. He had put up with slavery since long for the best interest of His ultimate plan, but now was the time to bring more peace, more respect. Who would argue that slavery is God’s will for our society today and that it is biblical?
Anyways, that’s only one example. We must be very careful and always read the Word of God with an open heart to what GOD wants to teach us, not what WE think He’s saying. We must always be humble and ready to change our thinking in order to align it with God’s. We must put aside traditions and come to the Word of God emptied of any pre-conceptions. Because we might become blind to the good that God wants to do us and we might refuse to be blessed.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 20$ as of May 21, 2006.
What’s that? See www.banknm.blogspot.com

Driving Home

As we were driving back to Hepburn from a day spent in a camping by a lake (if we dare call it a lake) we were having fun talking about Jump5, a “Christian” band made of and for young teenagers. I must confess that we’ve listened to them twice in a month while working. Basically just because we thought it was funny and cheesy. Anyways, after we thought the topic was closed about Jump5, I started thinking and I started talking about the feeling I have about these Christian bands. I don’t want to say that Jump5 isn’t good at all for Christian teenagers or the like. I was just saying that many Christian bands nowadays promote ideas and concepts of Christianity and our life with Jesus that is twisted or only partially true. Many Christian singers sing songs about the joy we can find in life because of God, and they make it sounds like being a Christian is the best thing ever because you have joy and life is so good. Often we don’t even know if they are singing about Jesus or some boyfriend because no name is mentioned. I don’t see the teachings of Christ in these songs (and I’m not just talking about Jump5). It is true that Jesus calls us to have life in full, He wants us in heaven with Him, not in hell. He wants (and I say that carefully) us to be happy. All of this is true. But we cannot brag about a Christianity that is only joy and success, like life is going perfect all the time. Because that’s first of all not what goes on in most of our lives and second, that’s not what Christ taught.
Christ calls us to die, not to live. “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.” (Mk 8:34-35) And just think about the life of the apostles, can you really believe that they led easy, pain free lives? No they gave all (literally) to Christ’s cause.
Christ calls us, not to be casual about the Christian life, but full of awe in the face of God our Savior. Simply think about this: God let His Holy Son be killed by sinners in order to provide a way for us to be saved from His wrath. He was not casual about it, it cost Him the divine life of His Son Jesus (who was raised from the dead amen!). Salvation cost something great and we should not sing about it and live as if it’s casual and sweet. Many times we see the disciples in awe because of Jesus’ deeds and Jesus’ divinity. Just read Revelation and you’ll realize that God is truly almighty (or just read the Bible actually).
I don’t mean to say that the Christian life should focus on suffering and deep awe. I am saying that we cannot promote a Christianity that is for people’s earthly benefit only. Salvation is yes, for God’s and our eternal benefit, and yes this eternal life has begun already. But we are still here on earth, in our sinful body and are called to bring all to the knowledge of Christ. “Already but not yet”. We do have joys and happiness here on earth because we know Christ as our Lord and Savior, but we do experience the pain of putting to death our flesh and the “shame” that accompanies us among unbelievers, the persecutions for living according to Jesus’ teachings. Maybe we don’t experience much of that nowadays because we aren’t aware of the cost of following Christ and of the holiness of the God we claim to obey and love.
A friend in the car wondered if that’d be why we seem to sing and write songs that are shallow when compared to older songs. Many worship songs today are unbiblical and do not promote the truth. We sing them without really thinking I guess. There are many good, new Christian songs that I love, that are realistic and biblical too, but I just feel that everything is so shallow.
In the car I started thinking about this: what do we do about what we sing? It’s neat to sing beautiful things to God, but what do we do about it later? Songs basically are prayers and praises. Is it really a good thing to sing things like “I surrender all” or “You give and take away… my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your Name” or else and leave church and don’t do anything about it? It reminds me of the expression that says something like “Grand parleur, p’tit faiseur” (Big talker, small doer). Why do we sing these songs when it actually doesn’t mean anything to us and we’ll forget all about them and it won’t affect the way we live? Church isn’t just about weighing what the preach is about and putting it into practice, it’s also about coming before God and praising Him, praying to Him… and these things too, must have an impact on our daily lives.

I don’t know what sort of conclusion to write here. It’s been long enough already. These were some of my thoughts and it was neat talking to friends about them.

BANK FOR NATIVE MASSIONARIES: 14$ as of May 20, 2006
What’s that? See www.banknm.blogspot.com

Party Pooper?

Since school is over at Bethany, I really feel to be a party pooper. And one of my friends told me not to be one since she was not going to be around anymore. I’ve tried, just a little bit to participate in the social stuff going on around me when I was invited. I remember writing about the “Salad Fiesta” in the beginning of May and the funny way I was “obligated” to go. I was a party pooper a few times since.
Today I was invited to go to a cabin by the lake tomorrow, a bunch of ladies working at Bethany are going, and these ladies are my age and older so it’s not like I would be totally out of place (apart for my French accent!). I told my friends I didn’t think I would go. Then they started to persecute me and tell me I should go. I myself was convinced I should go, because I had no excuse not to. So I started to discuss my anti-social problem attitude with them. It’s true that I don’t want to be anti-social, that I don’t want to be a boring little nerd, but that’s the truth about me, so I figured it was okay to talk about it. I felt humbled. I was convinced I should go, I had no excuse and I was just being self-centered, selfish and wanted to stay in my comfort zone tomorrow. I decided I would go and I am going. I am bringing a taco dip. Basically, it’s a base of cream cheese, sour cream and taco seasoning, the topping is salsa, chopped green & red peppers, green onions, tomatoes and grated cheese on top. You then dip your tortilla chips in there and that’s so good. Anyways, that’s not a recipe blog so I’ll stop right here.

I am challenged to deal with myself. With things I don’t like about myself. I’m not talking about my nose or my toes. I’m talking about my personality, my sinful nature, my weaknesses, my sins. Basically, things that are not as God wants them to be in me. I realize that it’s ok to be open to talk about those things with people around me who recognize them in me. Trying to hide my bad self won’t help me become better. In my case, these weeks, I see how big a party pooper I am and God has given me a couple of opportunities to practice the opposite: to be participating. I wonder why it is such a big deal to me to be exposed to people so that they know who I really am. I hate that, but this afternoon, as we chatted about my anti-social attitude, yes it humbled me, but somehow, though I don’t like the feeling of being humiliated because of the bad sides of me, because I was seeking to do the right thing, and not to excuse myself or find excuses, it was really good, just to know that I was being true and honest about myself. I felt like it was something a mature person does. I’m not saying I am mature, I am sometimes, for some things, but it’s hard to be open to talk about my sins.

I am learning to be selfless and not to prize my own little reputation too much. It’s a really good feeling to know that I’m honest in the face of my ugliness. Without recognizing it and having people to push me to become better, nothing good will happen. I believe that people who are real, are people who tend to mature the most.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 14$ as of May 19 2006 see www.banknm.blogspot.com for more info!

Me Myself & I

It was lunch break on Monday, or I’m not sure, we were having a break anyways. I don’t know why but we (2 co-workers & I) started to talk about the way we “worship” God with our songs. My friend was saying that our worship focuses on the “I” and “we” a lot when it should focus on God. “I will give you all my worship” / We fall down, we lay our crowns” / “I bless you Lord” / “Lord who am I” / “I will not forget you” and the like are examples or phrases we sing. I was a bit perplexed and I told my friend “But when we read the Psalms, that are actual songs that David and others wrote, we see a lot of ‘I’’ and ‘we” we agreed that it was true and oh well, the conversation did not go much farther. “There’s a middle ground a guess.” Was my conclusion to them.

I’ve been thinking about it and I’ve been watching and listening myself praying. To my surprise I noticed that my prayers and thoughts were full of I’s, everything is about me. I’m not talking about the time I spend praying for myself, which has its proper and good place in my relationship with Jesus, but I’m talking about times when it’s time to simply let God be God. I was surprised to start disliking the way I prayed or thanked God. I’ve started to feel sick of focusing everything on myself when I talked or sang to God. At first glance, I didn’t think that the way I praised or worshiped God was self-centered, because in saying “I bless you Lord”, I’m using “I” but then “you” and “Lord”. So it’s not like it’s all about me. That’s right. I believe that there is a proper place and time to include myself, but isn’t there a proper time to exclude myself in my prayers?

I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about it and I’m just starting to, but why do I need to include a part of me in the praises I offer to God? Why can’t I erase myself totally from the offering? Why can’t I let God be God alone? I am not sure how to explain this, but I feel like there is too much of me and that I feel (probably unconsciously) the need to be recognized as the one who gives God the praises, the one who is humbled in His presence –again there is and must be a time for that sort of worship. Can’t my prayers and my worship be selfless, totally selfless?

“The Lord reigns, let the nations tremble; He sits enthroned between the cherubim, let the earth shake. Great is the Lord in Zion; He is exalted over all the nations. Let them praise your great and awesome name –He is holy. The King is mighty, he loves justice –you have established equity; in Jacob you have done what is just and right. Exalt the Lord our God and worship at His footstool; He is holy.” –Psalms 99:1-5

“Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are His. He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; He knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with Him…” –Daniel 2:20-22

That sort of worship offered to God must be really delightful in the sight of the Lord, it must smell like perfume to His nostrils, in a special way. Why? Simply because it’s all about Yahweh and no one else. The worshipper offers the best worship he can to God: He does not even mention his own name or a little “I” anywhere, he turns God to Himself (if I can say it that way), leaves an anonymous thank you note in His mail box. I’m not saying that God doesn’t know who praises Him when it’s done in “secret”, but I think that He delights in people who worship Him in total humility, excluding all but Yahweh.

There is a proper time for that kind of worship and I hope I can become more “selfless” as I pray and sing and talk to God. That I’d forget about me and simply lift the name of Jesus up so it’s all about Him and Him alone.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 14$ as of May 18, 2006
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Unfinished thoughts about an other blog

One of Gibbons’ last entry on her blog www.randomnesssignedgibbons.blogspot.com made my spirit smile much. Why? Simply because I am a nerd. The topic was actually not funny but it was like walking on a road and see the sign “Dig down here you can find neat things”. I like when people throw ideas at me that make me think.
She talked about the fact that we Christians, are just like unbelievers when it comes to popularity. Here I quote her:

I've observed the power of these fads in the Christian community. Every few years or months, there will be some huge new book that everyone needs to read (e.g. The Prayer of Jabez), or some new idea that everyone is talking about (e.g. the emerging church), a movie we should all support (e.g. Narnia) or all boycott (e.g. Brokeback Mountain), or a new worship song we hafta sing (e.g. Blessed Be Your Name). What is with these mass infatuations with popular things? Should the body of Christ really "lemming" (v.) after its media, just like the world does?

I ask myself the question, “Is it a bad thing in itself?” Very often, I am prone to think that anything that originates from unbelievers is bad, we as Christians should not try to have our own “spiritual” version of, let’s say, Canadian Idol, whatever talk show on TV or the like (I really have a hard time putting my thoughts into words I am sorry). But I don’t think that this thinking of mine is good. I think that it is a big mistake to think that God works through His people only and never uses unbelievers to bring good stuff that Christians should use, God’s Spirit is at work, not only among Christians, but in all the world.

So as I reflect on Gibbons’ thoughts I wonder if using the “unbelievers’” way of celebrating great gifts to the world (such as artists and the like) is bad.
I think that our purpose must be different that the unsaved people. We don’t run after “Christian celebrities” to touch them, but to hear their wisdom or worship with them. We don’t buy the last “Christian best seller” because it’s famous, but because it will help us in our understanding of our Christian walk. We don’t participate in big conferences because we’ll see famous people, but because we want to grow and be challenged. Our purpose must be different, it must be godly.

Now what is sad is that many of us Christians, run after these big events, buy the last popular Christian thing that is out in the book store, for the same reasons unbelievers do the same with their non-Christian stuff (that is not wrong all the time). The things like, let’s say, the book “My utmost for His highest” and the movies “Left Behind” and its books, are not bad in themselves. But it’s the “why” we run after them that is important and the “how” we actually “praise” these things. We often turn the gifts that God gives us through His people (music, writing, preaching, etc.) into a worship of people when these things should bring us closer to God, deepen our faith and challenge us to live a radical life of surrender to God.

People who run after celebrities (people or things), to me, are characterized by the desire to be popular themselves, and it’s probably unconscious for most. “If I go to the conference, if I read this famous book, if I buy this popular cd, people will acknowledge me, people will think I’m spiritual, that I am bla bla bla.” We often are wanting to do certain things in order to be able to say “I’ve been to Third Day’s concert”, “I’ve seen Mac Powell with my own eyes!”, “I read this one twice”, “I went to Briercrest for four years”. Isn’t it true? Well, it is true of me. But don’t we see that this is empty? That we are actually trying to be “cool”, that by going with the flow of “Christian big things” we forget God and do it for our own reputation or just because we are so blinded by being so used to follow all that stuff, that we think it’s what it means to follow Christ nowadays?

My sole goal must be to seek Jesus Christ, glorify Him and call people to follow Him. I will follow the big names and the big books because I desire Christ, I want to learn to delight in the simple faith that I find in the prayers of new believers, I want to find joy in the little song for children, I want to delight in little events and use them as much as I can to glorify my God, I want to take the routine and the “normal” day-to-day life to persevere in the faith and grow, even against my flesh. I want to rejoice in the small as in the great.

BANK FOR NATIVE MISSIONARIES: 14$ as of May 16, 2006

Mother's Day? No, Sabbath Day.

No I’m not going to write anything about that. You probably heard enough about it on TV, radio, in stores, at church, school. And I don’t have anything to say about Mother’s Day anyways. Well, I would probably need to think about it, but why would I actually write about that?

For two school years I worked in Bethany kitchen. Since students need to be fed during the weekend as much as during the week, cooks have to work during the weekend as well. Not all of them though. So we took turns working a Saturday and/or Sunday here and there during the month. So my days off were not all the time on the weekend. I sometimes had my Wednesday and Friday off, but was on duty for the weekend and it was changing all the time. Because of that kind of schedule, and the fact that working in a kitchen is not really a physical work (no, standing all day long isn’t considered a physical work for me, sorry) I never felt like I needed a day off, that my body needed to rest… oh for sure, I few times like after Youth Advance or big events I did felt I needed a break. So I never really fully appreciated my days off. I rested but my batteries were still half full.
Now that I have switched to cleaning the dorms, it’s been different. It’s not hard work, but it requires energy and strength (moving beds with Gerald is almost a hard-core sport!) so when it’s the weekend, I really appreciate it. Because my body needs a break

I’ve been wondering about the Sabbath a littlebit. I must say that I don’t know what to think about it, or rather, I should say, I don’t know how to practice the Sabbath. It’s not simply a day off work. It’s not only a day when I enjoy relaxing and doing whatever I feel like doing. Is it really a day for ME? I wonder how I am supposed to enjoy the Sabbath today.
I’m thinking as well about the apostles like Paul, John, Peter. I think of pioneer missionaries all around the world in all history. I wonder if they had/have a Sabbath day a week and if yes, what it meant/means to them. Because Jesus’ view of the Sabbath was a bit different from the people around. I think that it is a day where you rest from your work, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t work. Because Sabbath calls for mercy and if on the Sabbath you hear of some people’s needs, you should go and help, even when it means to work. So how about the apostles who were traveling much and helping out churches and speaking much, even on the official Sabbath day of the Jews, I wonder if they set apart a day of the week to rest. You know what? I feel like they did not. At Bible School I remember a staff saying that Sabbath for us, was not a day in the week, but Sabbath was everyday of the week because of… I don’t remember. I cannot imagine the apostles, Jesus Himself, stopping their ministry once every seven days. Would they? I would say that they probably did, but maybe in a different way. It was not a “day” but an everyday attitude of Sabbath (maybe that goes with my teacher’s idea) or maybe it was set times with God throughout the week… I really don’t know what I’m saying here and what it implies. I know nothing about the Sabbath.
I am aware that in Luke 23:56 it says, “Then they went home and prepared spices and perfumes. But they rested on the Sabbath in obedience to the commandment.” (Interesting that it doesn’t say “in accordance to the Law”… it’s about the same eh?) This verse is about the women who did the burial prep. For Jesus’ body. They rested, they stopped from their work because it was the Sabbath. That shows us that they rested, not from their usual week work, but from a special work (they did not prepare spices and perfumes all week long all the time). So it tells me that Sabbath is not only about stopping from my week job at Bethany. Even for special work that must be done, Sabbath most be observed. Well, actually, I don’t know. Because the text doesn’t say that it was a good thing or a bad one to observe the Sabbath. I wonder if they had chosen to “work” instead if they would have been commended or not. Anyways, I can’t see them working, because they had been observing the Sabbath since the day they were born. It was a custom. It is not a custom here in the West, so I don’t know how I am supposed to observe it today.
Oh, happy mother day to all the “mommies” reading this blog, have a good restful day…


BANK FOR NATIVE MISSIONARIES: 14$/ as of May 13, 2006.
This month’s $$$ will be sent to Gospel for Asia so they can help provide a bicycle to a missionary who desperately needs one. Please send GFA or myself your few bucks. Help, it is a privilege, not to say a duty, pray, pray for them. Do as Jesus leads you.

Take Me In

A girl I work with brought a cd today (we’ve been listening to an average of 7 hours of music a day –that’s without the breaks), Kutless. I had never listened to them. It was their worship cd called “Strong Tower” and I found myself loving it, really. I borrowed it from her tonight and I thought I’d share with you the lyrics of one of the songs. It is called “Take me in”

Take me past the outer courts, into the holy place
Past the brazen altar, Lord I want to see your face
Pass me by the crowds of people, the priests who sing your praise
I hunger and thirst for your righteousness, and it’s only found in one place
Take me in to the holy of holies
Take me in by the blood of the Lamb
Take me in to the holy of holies
Take a coal, touch my lips, here I am

I love powerful songs, and for me, the phrase I love the most is “Take me in by the blood of the Lamb”. We don’t talk or think much about the temple and how it relates to our own salvation. The temple was a really special place for the Jews and even the gentiles from its first construction, when it was called the Tabernacle, in the desert. It was not just a special building, it was a holy place, no gentile was allowed in, and the farther you got in, the more “holy” you had to be. Priests ministering had to be “ceremonially clean” and all the sacrifices and gifts had to be in good shape, healthy, perfect. You would never get to the “Holy of Holies” unless you were the high priest that year, and you would have gone in there only once a year to offer blood for your own sins and those of the people. I don’t know much about this Holy of Holies, but I am sure that every Jew had a great and holy fear for this place, God’s resting place.
If someone would have sung a song like “Take me in” in Jesus’ times, I am pretty sure people would have started to stone him or bring him before the religious authorities. How could someone ever think of entering the famous Holy of Holies? It was probably something people did not think about, maybe people were extremely afraid of being in the presence of God, they had heard of many stories about the holiness of God and things that happened to people who did not “follow the rules” in the temple or with the ark. “God is holy and you’re not. So don’t even think of going there!” was probably what lots of people thought.
I think it is truly amazing that we can make songs like this and sing such things like “take me in to the holy of holies”. If we’d be Jews it’d be really wrong 2000 years ago, but being gentiles, like most of us are… people would have thought we’d be out of our minds, totally crazy or demon possessed maybe.
It might seem foolish to Jews who don’t believe in Jesus as their Messiah right now to hear Christians sing such songs, but we know the Messiah Jesus came, died for our sins, was raised from the dead and opened the heavy, think curtain that separated the “holy place” from the “Holy of Holies” inviting all –Jews and Gentiles alike- to approach God, being purified not by the blood of goats or calves, but by the holy blood of the Son of God, God Himself.
Isn’t that amazing that we can come to the Holy of Holies, into the presence of God?!

“And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit. At that moment, the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.” Mat.27:50-51

“Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is His body, and since we have a great high priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having out hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water…” Heb.10:19-22

BANK FOR NATIVE MISSIONARIES: 7$/as of May 11, 2006.