Better?

I realize that one has to be ready to serve when one says he wants to serve. I know that it sound obvious, but obviously I did not fully realized what I was saying.
My summer is so unsure. There’s some things I would like to do but at the same time I am restrained by time, space, money and so-called obligations… (like everyone eh?!).
I like to serve at the bible school I attended a couple of years ago, especially for their summer camps. It seems like every summer I am surprised. I’ve been a counsellor, the head counsellor…these two were no surprise for me. Last summer I sent an email to the camp administrator and told him I’d be glad to help at any level for the summer. I thought I’d be a counsellor, which would have been great. But instead he asked me to be supervising and mentoring a bunch of high school girls who would be working in the kitchen of the camp for 6 weeks. Not what I thought, and I knew it’d be much demanding and “self-destroying” (physically & emotionally!) than any other job in the camp. But I did it. It ended up to be even harder then what I thought it would be, but deeply good and the same time. This year I sent an email to the camp guy again, telling him I’d be glad to help them at any level. I was totally not prepared to his offer. I thought he’d say he didn’t need me or that I could be a counsellor, or just helping a bit with different things. He asked me if I’d be interested in being the director of a one-week camp. His other directors for that week had cancelled and he was looking for someone who could fill in… with only one month of preparation left. I had to be serious with him and tell him that my name was Gabrielle Leroux, not Super Leader or Idea Geek. Basically I was excited about the idea, but it seemed unreal, seriously, I don’t think I’m the type of camp director kids from age 11-13 would like to have.
Anyways, I’m learning that telling people I’m willing to serve can mean much more than what my little mind has in mind. So guess what I decided? I told him I was his man. I really have no excuses (he pointed out 4 reasons why he thinks I should do it) and I want to serve so, why not peanut!
It’s not that I didn’t want to do it, I believe that it’s going to be really good for me to experience all of that, I just feel like I’m not the perfect person for that job. I think God is really neat though. He seems to be pushing me to do things and go places where I first thought I would never do or go. God is neat and even though sometimes it feels scary, it’s really exciting.
Man I am so tired. I praise God for the opportunity He’s given me. You see, amidst uncertainty about ourselves and our ability (or lack of it), God’s the leader and He’s doing it, so just follow, it’ll be alright.

Christ alone

Sometimes I think that some day I could totally give up. Tired of following rules and disciples for a God I never saw, sick of the unanswered prayers I sent up for years, overwhelmed by self-denial and the beating of my flesh all of that for a Savior I never touched. But then I am reminded by the Spirit of Christ that I live by faith. I live by faith. This is my lot, it is my glory. I’m not called to live according to what my eye can see and my hands can touch. I will trust God that He exists and hears me and will act for His good –even when I don’t see any good. Not in my time, in His time will He bless me. I will always pray and trust that He will act, I know He will. I shall live by faith. When I realize that I’m slowly giving up, I must remember that I don’t live by sight and by my own will, but by faith right now here on earth. I need to go on, to persevere. There is no salvation apart by faith in the grace of God, Jesus His Son. And I will hang on to Jesus, even when I don’t understand, simply because that’s what He asks of me, to trust Him, to live by faith.
I like these words from the song -In Christ Alone-

In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground, firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace, when fears are stilled, when striving cease
My comforter, my All in all, here in the love of Christ I stand
In Christ alone who took on flesh, fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of life and righteousness, scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died, the wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid, here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay, Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day, up from the grave He arose again
And as He stands in victory, sin’s curse has lost it’s grip on me
For I am His and He is mine, bought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of men, can ever pluck me from His hand
‘Til He returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

Bank for Native Missionaries: 0$ as of May 29, 2006. Our 20$ was sent today to Gospel for Asia to help provide a bicycle to one of their needy missionary in Asia. Thank you.
www.banknm.blogspot.com

Faith Journey

Some people wonder what is going on with my « faith journey » that I started in the beginning of 2006 as I applied to university. Not knowing where to apply and why exactly and how it’d be possible for me to actually attend and where I’d live and how I’d pay for it all. Time, 3 negative answers on 4 from universities and my own lack of faith made me think the trip was over and that I was done with this idea of university for this fall. God had not the same view of things though. He called me back in mid-April reminding me I was still driving “somewhere” with Him, I probably had slept for a while and did not realize I was still in the car. Anyways, I had this choice to make, choose to go the test the university of Quebec wanted me to go for in August and then from there, know if I’m good enough to pass their second test and then know in mid-August if I’ll be starting university or not, OR moving with a few friends at 2 and a half hours away from university in August, but I needed to tell them my final decision in April. Basically God was saying to me, “Gabe you choose between being safe with your friends or putting your faith in me and try the test.” Gulp. So obviously I could not set myself against God’s “better” will for me and I said no to my friends. God stopped the car and asked me where I wanted to go, I’m still in for the faith journey and I think it is interesting and really good. I won’t know what will happen to me until mid-August. I can’t plan anything for the fall before that, or sort of, nothing official. I am happy that I chose to put my confidence in God, not in my own ideas and plans.

All of my ambitions, hopes and plans, I surrender these into your hands
For it’s only in your will that I am free, for it’s only in your will that I am free
Jesus all for Jesus, all I am and have, and ever hope to be
Jesus all for Jesus, all I am and have, and ever hope to be

That’s neat, that’s the song that is playing right now.
It did not happen very often that I felt God was asking me to follow Him, I mean, in a personal way like this one, calling me on a faith journey and I can’t say no.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 20$ as of May 26, 2006
See www.banknm.blogspot.com for more info.

Religious

Sometimes I get sick of my own “religiosity”, I don’t mean to say that I am religious or pious or anything like that, I’m talking about the things that I do that are what a Christian should do. Every morning I read a passage in the Bible and I try to meditate on it and write down my thoughts. The other day I was reading a note book in which I had written these thoughts, but somehow I just felt sick.
What is the purpose of thinking, talking, writing about God stuff if it does not have an impact on the way I live? Yes, I believe that doing these things will mold my thinking and the way I live in a long-term process, but I believe that the Word of God should and must have a direct, day-to-day impact on me. It will change the way I entertain my mind, the way I am and talk to people, the way I think about myself and others… it will transform my actions, today.
I’ve sometimes wished that all I had was the basics of Christian knowledge, that I would not concern myself with thinking much, but just living out with all my heart what I knew: Jesus died and rose again, I am made righteous by His blood, my sins are forgiven. I think that I miss this childlike faith and simplicity.
I know it is important, and it is a true blessing to be able to learn more and more about my God and His Word. But sometimes I feel like all I’m doing is as good as worthless because I don’t accept Jesus as Master over me, I listen and forget what He teaches me, I count my reputation and my life of greater value than that of Jesus’. I wonder sometimes what is the real good in only talking about good things with other Christians if it does not lead us to radical, practical actions. I sometimes feel like I should say stuff like “So why don’t we do something about it?” and challenge myself and people to godly actions. I believe that most of the time we think that only talking and thinking about Christian stuff excuses us from actually doing things about them. We often mistake knowledge for godliness. Or at least, I often do.
So if you happen to read this post, don’t be afraid to challenge me and ask me how I actually put into action what I think I’m learning.

SALT IS GOOD, BUT IF IT LOSES ITS SALTINESS, HOW CAN IT BE MADE SALTY AGAIN?
Lk 14:34

Bank for Native Missionaries: 20$ as of May 25, 2006.
What is this? Visit www.banknm.blogspot.com
Do not forget our brothers and sisters around the world, do pray for them.

Cheesy

When I heard that I was going on a one day staff retreat in a camp, I just thought it’d be cheesy. You see, the words like “sharing time” and “team building” don’t appeal to me, I dislike having to participate in meetings when some enthusiastic leaders push us to share and make us do cheesy exercises to get to know each other better and the like. I knew it’d be alright but still… Anyways, things turned out really good. Seriously. The people who led us into sharing about God in our lives and understanding how and why we fit (or not in my case!) in our specific departments at the college and etc. were really good and nothing was cheesy. Misconceptions, I have a lot of these.
This I say unto you: Don’t be afraid to be cheesy, sometimes it turns out to be good.

Since today I started to go for walks in the morning. I used to go for walks in the fall of 2004 when I first came to Saskatchewan. I needed this precious time with God every morning. Now, it’s not really that I feel like I need it, but I know that I need it. Because things are going pretty well and I don’t feel like I’m lonely or in a dry season, I don’t feel like I need to spend extended time just pouring out my heart to God. I do read the Bible and pray, but there is something different and deeply good about going for walks in the morning, seeing the sun turning all kinds of colors and talk to Jesus about anything on my heart. My first excuse to God that I couldn’t go for walks was that “I already get up at 6am!” but I know that my excuses are always lame. I’ll see how it goes. This morning I forgot to put my glasses on, that does not happen to me very often. Anyways, these morning walks are precious to me and I hope I will be found faithful.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 20$ as of May 23, 2006.
What’s that? www.banknm.blogspot.com
Please take note that all the money will be sent on May 29, 2006 this month. Thanks to all the givers!

Ezekiel

Our Bank for Native Missionaries just received 6$, thanks to the giver!

This morning I was reading in Ezekiel 18. I never noticed that sort of thing elsewhere in the Bible and I thought it was really interesting. It starts with these words from the Lord:

“What do you people mean by quoting this proverb about the land of Israel: ‘The fathers eat sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge’? As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign Lord, you will no longer quote this proverb in Israel.”

I don’t know why, but the Israelites thought that children paid for their parent’s sins, that it was the way God dealt with them. In Deuteronomy 24:16 we read, “Fathers shall not be put to death for their children, nor children put to death put to death for their fathers; each is to die for his own sin.” Somewhere along the road, people obviously thought differently, I need to look into that, because I am pretty sure it’s written somewhere that children had to bear the consequences of the sins of their parents (but I might be mistaken). Anyways, here’s what is interesting, the response from the Israelites is shocking:

“Yet you (Israel) ask, ‘Why does the son not share the guilt of his father?’” (v.19)

Later, God tells His people that if a wicked person turns to righteousness, that person will surely live, and that if a righteous person turns to wickedness, then, this person will surely die and nothing of his/her former righteousness will be remembered. That’s their response:

“Yet you (Israel) say, ‘The way of the Lord is not just.’” (v.25)

It seems as if for a certain period of time God had made the children share in the guilt of the parents’ sins (I am not sure how true this is, but it seems it is the way that the Israelites perceived it) and now God was telling them that it was not going to be so any longer. These people were probably so rooted in tradition and how things were dealt with, that when a better way was offered, they totally disagreed and even called God unjust. Isn’t that silly?

I wonder if there is anything of the kind happening in our lives right now. Sometimes we are so used to the routine, we hold so tight to the traditions in our churches or denominations, that when God offers us a better way of living, we see it as evil, non-biblical and wrong. That’s what happened to many Christians living in 19th century America. Christians were taking sides, some believed slavery should be abolished and some firmly believed that the Bible taught that slavery was good. They had lived like that since ever but now God was opening the way for more shalom in America, was offering a better way of living. Good Christians held on to their beliefs for slavery and could not understand that it was not God’s idea for His children. He had put up with slavery since long for the best interest of His ultimate plan, but now was the time to bring more peace, more respect. Who would argue that slavery is God’s will for our society today and that it is biblical?
Anyways, that’s only one example. We must be very careful and always read the Word of God with an open heart to what GOD wants to teach us, not what WE think He’s saying. We must always be humble and ready to change our thinking in order to align it with God’s. We must put aside traditions and come to the Word of God emptied of any pre-conceptions. Because we might become blind to the good that God wants to do us and we might refuse to be blessed.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 20$ as of May 21, 2006.
What’s that? See www.banknm.blogspot.com

Driving Home

As we were driving back to Hepburn from a day spent in a camping by a lake (if we dare call it a lake) we were having fun talking about Jump5, a “Christian” band made of and for young teenagers. I must confess that we’ve listened to them twice in a month while working. Basically just because we thought it was funny and cheesy. Anyways, after we thought the topic was closed about Jump5, I started thinking and I started talking about the feeling I have about these Christian bands. I don’t want to say that Jump5 isn’t good at all for Christian teenagers or the like. I was just saying that many Christian bands nowadays promote ideas and concepts of Christianity and our life with Jesus that is twisted or only partially true. Many Christian singers sing songs about the joy we can find in life because of God, and they make it sounds like being a Christian is the best thing ever because you have joy and life is so good. Often we don’t even know if they are singing about Jesus or some boyfriend because no name is mentioned. I don’t see the teachings of Christ in these songs (and I’m not just talking about Jump5). It is true that Jesus calls us to have life in full, He wants us in heaven with Him, not in hell. He wants (and I say that carefully) us to be happy. All of this is true. But we cannot brag about a Christianity that is only joy and success, like life is going perfect all the time. Because that’s first of all not what goes on in most of our lives and second, that’s not what Christ taught.
Christ calls us to die, not to live. “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.” (Mk 8:34-35) And just think about the life of the apostles, can you really believe that they led easy, pain free lives? No they gave all (literally) to Christ’s cause.
Christ calls us, not to be casual about the Christian life, but full of awe in the face of God our Savior. Simply think about this: God let His Holy Son be killed by sinners in order to provide a way for us to be saved from His wrath. He was not casual about it, it cost Him the divine life of His Son Jesus (who was raised from the dead amen!). Salvation cost something great and we should not sing about it and live as if it’s casual and sweet. Many times we see the disciples in awe because of Jesus’ deeds and Jesus’ divinity. Just read Revelation and you’ll realize that God is truly almighty (or just read the Bible actually).
I don’t mean to say that the Christian life should focus on suffering and deep awe. I am saying that we cannot promote a Christianity that is for people’s earthly benefit only. Salvation is yes, for God’s and our eternal benefit, and yes this eternal life has begun already. But we are still here on earth, in our sinful body and are called to bring all to the knowledge of Christ. “Already but not yet”. We do have joys and happiness here on earth because we know Christ as our Lord and Savior, but we do experience the pain of putting to death our flesh and the “shame” that accompanies us among unbelievers, the persecutions for living according to Jesus’ teachings. Maybe we don’t experience much of that nowadays because we aren’t aware of the cost of following Christ and of the holiness of the God we claim to obey and love.
A friend in the car wondered if that’d be why we seem to sing and write songs that are shallow when compared to older songs. Many worship songs today are unbiblical and do not promote the truth. We sing them without really thinking I guess. There are many good, new Christian songs that I love, that are realistic and biblical too, but I just feel that everything is so shallow.
In the car I started thinking about this: what do we do about what we sing? It’s neat to sing beautiful things to God, but what do we do about it later? Songs basically are prayers and praises. Is it really a good thing to sing things like “I surrender all” or “You give and take away… my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your Name” or else and leave church and don’t do anything about it? It reminds me of the expression that says something like “Grand parleur, p’tit faiseur” (Big talker, small doer). Why do we sing these songs when it actually doesn’t mean anything to us and we’ll forget all about them and it won’t affect the way we live? Church isn’t just about weighing what the preach is about and putting it into practice, it’s also about coming before God and praising Him, praying to Him… and these things too, must have an impact on our daily lives.

I don’t know what sort of conclusion to write here. It’s been long enough already. These were some of my thoughts and it was neat talking to friends about them.

BANK FOR NATIVE MASSIONARIES: 14$ as of May 20, 2006
What’s that? See www.banknm.blogspot.com

Party Pooper?

Since school is over at Bethany, I really feel to be a party pooper. And one of my friends told me not to be one since she was not going to be around anymore. I’ve tried, just a little bit to participate in the social stuff going on around me when I was invited. I remember writing about the “Salad Fiesta” in the beginning of May and the funny way I was “obligated” to go. I was a party pooper a few times since.
Today I was invited to go to a cabin by the lake tomorrow, a bunch of ladies working at Bethany are going, and these ladies are my age and older so it’s not like I would be totally out of place (apart for my French accent!). I told my friends I didn’t think I would go. Then they started to persecute me and tell me I should go. I myself was convinced I should go, because I had no excuse not to. So I started to discuss my anti-social problem attitude with them. It’s true that I don’t want to be anti-social, that I don’t want to be a boring little nerd, but that’s the truth about me, so I figured it was okay to talk about it. I felt humbled. I was convinced I should go, I had no excuse and I was just being self-centered, selfish and wanted to stay in my comfort zone tomorrow. I decided I would go and I am going. I am bringing a taco dip. Basically, it’s a base of cream cheese, sour cream and taco seasoning, the topping is salsa, chopped green & red peppers, green onions, tomatoes and grated cheese on top. You then dip your tortilla chips in there and that’s so good. Anyways, that’s not a recipe blog so I’ll stop right here.

I am challenged to deal with myself. With things I don’t like about myself. I’m not talking about my nose or my toes. I’m talking about my personality, my sinful nature, my weaknesses, my sins. Basically, things that are not as God wants them to be in me. I realize that it’s ok to be open to talk about those things with people around me who recognize them in me. Trying to hide my bad self won’t help me become better. In my case, these weeks, I see how big a party pooper I am and God has given me a couple of opportunities to practice the opposite: to be participating. I wonder why it is such a big deal to me to be exposed to people so that they know who I really am. I hate that, but this afternoon, as we chatted about my anti-social attitude, yes it humbled me, but somehow, though I don’t like the feeling of being humiliated because of the bad sides of me, because I was seeking to do the right thing, and not to excuse myself or find excuses, it was really good, just to know that I was being true and honest about myself. I felt like it was something a mature person does. I’m not saying I am mature, I am sometimes, for some things, but it’s hard to be open to talk about my sins.

I am learning to be selfless and not to prize my own little reputation too much. It’s a really good feeling to know that I’m honest in the face of my ugliness. Without recognizing it and having people to push me to become better, nothing good will happen. I believe that people who are real, are people who tend to mature the most.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 14$ as of May 19 2006 see www.banknm.blogspot.com for more info!

Me Myself & I

It was lunch break on Monday, or I’m not sure, we were having a break anyways. I don’t know why but we (2 co-workers & I) started to talk about the way we “worship” God with our songs. My friend was saying that our worship focuses on the “I” and “we” a lot when it should focus on God. “I will give you all my worship” / We fall down, we lay our crowns” / “I bless you Lord” / “Lord who am I” / “I will not forget you” and the like are examples or phrases we sing. I was a bit perplexed and I told my friend “But when we read the Psalms, that are actual songs that David and others wrote, we see a lot of ‘I’’ and ‘we” we agreed that it was true and oh well, the conversation did not go much farther. “There’s a middle ground a guess.” Was my conclusion to them.

I’ve been thinking about it and I’ve been watching and listening myself praying. To my surprise I noticed that my prayers and thoughts were full of I’s, everything is about me. I’m not talking about the time I spend praying for myself, which has its proper and good place in my relationship with Jesus, but I’m talking about times when it’s time to simply let God be God. I was surprised to start disliking the way I prayed or thanked God. I’ve started to feel sick of focusing everything on myself when I talked or sang to God. At first glance, I didn’t think that the way I praised or worshiped God was self-centered, because in saying “I bless you Lord”, I’m using “I” but then “you” and “Lord”. So it’s not like it’s all about me. That’s right. I believe that there is a proper place and time to include myself, but isn’t there a proper time to exclude myself in my prayers?

I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about it and I’m just starting to, but why do I need to include a part of me in the praises I offer to God? Why can’t I erase myself totally from the offering? Why can’t I let God be God alone? I am not sure how to explain this, but I feel like there is too much of me and that I feel (probably unconsciously) the need to be recognized as the one who gives God the praises, the one who is humbled in His presence –again there is and must be a time for that sort of worship. Can’t my prayers and my worship be selfless, totally selfless?

“The Lord reigns, let the nations tremble; He sits enthroned between the cherubim, let the earth shake. Great is the Lord in Zion; He is exalted over all the nations. Let them praise your great and awesome name –He is holy. The King is mighty, he loves justice –you have established equity; in Jacob you have done what is just and right. Exalt the Lord our God and worship at His footstool; He is holy.” –Psalms 99:1-5

“Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are His. He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; He knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with Him…” –Daniel 2:20-22

That sort of worship offered to God must be really delightful in the sight of the Lord, it must smell like perfume to His nostrils, in a special way. Why? Simply because it’s all about Yahweh and no one else. The worshipper offers the best worship he can to God: He does not even mention his own name or a little “I” anywhere, he turns God to Himself (if I can say it that way), leaves an anonymous thank you note in His mail box. I’m not saying that God doesn’t know who praises Him when it’s done in “secret”, but I think that He delights in people who worship Him in total humility, excluding all but Yahweh.

There is a proper time for that kind of worship and I hope I can become more “selfless” as I pray and sing and talk to God. That I’d forget about me and simply lift the name of Jesus up so it’s all about Him and Him alone.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 14$ as of May 18, 2006
What is this? www.banknm.blogspot.com

Unfinished thoughts about an other blog

One of Gibbons’ last entry on her blog www.randomnesssignedgibbons.blogspot.com made my spirit smile much. Why? Simply because I am a nerd. The topic was actually not funny but it was like walking on a road and see the sign “Dig down here you can find neat things”. I like when people throw ideas at me that make me think.
She talked about the fact that we Christians, are just like unbelievers when it comes to popularity. Here I quote her:

I've observed the power of these fads in the Christian community. Every few years or months, there will be some huge new book that everyone needs to read (e.g. The Prayer of Jabez), or some new idea that everyone is talking about (e.g. the emerging church), a movie we should all support (e.g. Narnia) or all boycott (e.g. Brokeback Mountain), or a new worship song we hafta sing (e.g. Blessed Be Your Name). What is with these mass infatuations with popular things? Should the body of Christ really "lemming" (v.) after its media, just like the world does?

I ask myself the question, “Is it a bad thing in itself?” Very often, I am prone to think that anything that originates from unbelievers is bad, we as Christians should not try to have our own “spiritual” version of, let’s say, Canadian Idol, whatever talk show on TV or the like (I really have a hard time putting my thoughts into words I am sorry). But I don’t think that this thinking of mine is good. I think that it is a big mistake to think that God works through His people only and never uses unbelievers to bring good stuff that Christians should use, God’s Spirit is at work, not only among Christians, but in all the world.

So as I reflect on Gibbons’ thoughts I wonder if using the “unbelievers’” way of celebrating great gifts to the world (such as artists and the like) is bad.
I think that our purpose must be different that the unsaved people. We don’t run after “Christian celebrities” to touch them, but to hear their wisdom or worship with them. We don’t buy the last “Christian best seller” because it’s famous, but because it will help us in our understanding of our Christian walk. We don’t participate in big conferences because we’ll see famous people, but because we want to grow and be challenged. Our purpose must be different, it must be godly.

Now what is sad is that many of us Christians, run after these big events, buy the last popular Christian thing that is out in the book store, for the same reasons unbelievers do the same with their non-Christian stuff (that is not wrong all the time). The things like, let’s say, the book “My utmost for His highest” and the movies “Left Behind” and its books, are not bad in themselves. But it’s the “why” we run after them that is important and the “how” we actually “praise” these things. We often turn the gifts that God gives us through His people (music, writing, preaching, etc.) into a worship of people when these things should bring us closer to God, deepen our faith and challenge us to live a radical life of surrender to God.

People who run after celebrities (people or things), to me, are characterized by the desire to be popular themselves, and it’s probably unconscious for most. “If I go to the conference, if I read this famous book, if I buy this popular cd, people will acknowledge me, people will think I’m spiritual, that I am bla bla bla.” We often are wanting to do certain things in order to be able to say “I’ve been to Third Day’s concert”, “I’ve seen Mac Powell with my own eyes!”, “I read this one twice”, “I went to Briercrest for four years”. Isn’t it true? Well, it is true of me. But don’t we see that this is empty? That we are actually trying to be “cool”, that by going with the flow of “Christian big things” we forget God and do it for our own reputation or just because we are so blinded by being so used to follow all that stuff, that we think it’s what it means to follow Christ nowadays?

My sole goal must be to seek Jesus Christ, glorify Him and call people to follow Him. I will follow the big names and the big books because I desire Christ, I want to learn to delight in the simple faith that I find in the prayers of new believers, I want to find joy in the little song for children, I want to delight in little events and use them as much as I can to glorify my God, I want to take the routine and the “normal” day-to-day life to persevere in the faith and grow, even against my flesh. I want to rejoice in the small as in the great.

BANK FOR NATIVE MISSIONARIES: 14$ as of May 16, 2006

Mother's Day? No, Sabbath Day.

No I’m not going to write anything about that. You probably heard enough about it on TV, radio, in stores, at church, school. And I don’t have anything to say about Mother’s Day anyways. Well, I would probably need to think about it, but why would I actually write about that?

For two school years I worked in Bethany kitchen. Since students need to be fed during the weekend as much as during the week, cooks have to work during the weekend as well. Not all of them though. So we took turns working a Saturday and/or Sunday here and there during the month. So my days off were not all the time on the weekend. I sometimes had my Wednesday and Friday off, but was on duty for the weekend and it was changing all the time. Because of that kind of schedule, and the fact that working in a kitchen is not really a physical work (no, standing all day long isn’t considered a physical work for me, sorry) I never felt like I needed a day off, that my body needed to rest… oh for sure, I few times like after Youth Advance or big events I did felt I needed a break. So I never really fully appreciated my days off. I rested but my batteries were still half full.
Now that I have switched to cleaning the dorms, it’s been different. It’s not hard work, but it requires energy and strength (moving beds with Gerald is almost a hard-core sport!) so when it’s the weekend, I really appreciate it. Because my body needs a break

I’ve been wondering about the Sabbath a littlebit. I must say that I don’t know what to think about it, or rather, I should say, I don’t know how to practice the Sabbath. It’s not simply a day off work. It’s not only a day when I enjoy relaxing and doing whatever I feel like doing. Is it really a day for ME? I wonder how I am supposed to enjoy the Sabbath today.
I’m thinking as well about the apostles like Paul, John, Peter. I think of pioneer missionaries all around the world in all history. I wonder if they had/have a Sabbath day a week and if yes, what it meant/means to them. Because Jesus’ view of the Sabbath was a bit different from the people around. I think that it is a day where you rest from your work, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t work. Because Sabbath calls for mercy and if on the Sabbath you hear of some people’s needs, you should go and help, even when it means to work. So how about the apostles who were traveling much and helping out churches and speaking much, even on the official Sabbath day of the Jews, I wonder if they set apart a day of the week to rest. You know what? I feel like they did not. At Bible School I remember a staff saying that Sabbath for us, was not a day in the week, but Sabbath was everyday of the week because of… I don’t remember. I cannot imagine the apostles, Jesus Himself, stopping their ministry once every seven days. Would they? I would say that they probably did, but maybe in a different way. It was not a “day” but an everyday attitude of Sabbath (maybe that goes with my teacher’s idea) or maybe it was set times with God throughout the week… I really don’t know what I’m saying here and what it implies. I know nothing about the Sabbath.
I am aware that in Luke 23:56 it says, “Then they went home and prepared spices and perfumes. But they rested on the Sabbath in obedience to the commandment.” (Interesting that it doesn’t say “in accordance to the Law”… it’s about the same eh?) This verse is about the women who did the burial prep. For Jesus’ body. They rested, they stopped from their work because it was the Sabbath. That shows us that they rested, not from their usual week work, but from a special work (they did not prepare spices and perfumes all week long all the time). So it tells me that Sabbath is not only about stopping from my week job at Bethany. Even for special work that must be done, Sabbath most be observed. Well, actually, I don’t know. Because the text doesn’t say that it was a good thing or a bad one to observe the Sabbath. I wonder if they had chosen to “work” instead if they would have been commended or not. Anyways, I can’t see them working, because they had been observing the Sabbath since the day they were born. It was a custom. It is not a custom here in the West, so I don’t know how I am supposed to observe it today.
Oh, happy mother day to all the “mommies” reading this blog, have a good restful day…


BANK FOR NATIVE MISSIONARIES: 14$/ as of May 13, 2006.
This month’s $$$ will be sent to Gospel for Asia so they can help provide a bicycle to a missionary who desperately needs one. Please send GFA or myself your few bucks. Help, it is a privilege, not to say a duty, pray, pray for them. Do as Jesus leads you.

Take Me In

A girl I work with brought a cd today (we’ve been listening to an average of 7 hours of music a day –that’s without the breaks), Kutless. I had never listened to them. It was their worship cd called “Strong Tower” and I found myself loving it, really. I borrowed it from her tonight and I thought I’d share with you the lyrics of one of the songs. It is called “Take me in”

Take me past the outer courts, into the holy place
Past the brazen altar, Lord I want to see your face
Pass me by the crowds of people, the priests who sing your praise
I hunger and thirst for your righteousness, and it’s only found in one place
Take me in to the holy of holies
Take me in by the blood of the Lamb
Take me in to the holy of holies
Take a coal, touch my lips, here I am

I love powerful songs, and for me, the phrase I love the most is “Take me in by the blood of the Lamb”. We don’t talk or think much about the temple and how it relates to our own salvation. The temple was a really special place for the Jews and even the gentiles from its first construction, when it was called the Tabernacle, in the desert. It was not just a special building, it was a holy place, no gentile was allowed in, and the farther you got in, the more “holy” you had to be. Priests ministering had to be “ceremonially clean” and all the sacrifices and gifts had to be in good shape, healthy, perfect. You would never get to the “Holy of Holies” unless you were the high priest that year, and you would have gone in there only once a year to offer blood for your own sins and those of the people. I don’t know much about this Holy of Holies, but I am sure that every Jew had a great and holy fear for this place, God’s resting place.
If someone would have sung a song like “Take me in” in Jesus’ times, I am pretty sure people would have started to stone him or bring him before the religious authorities. How could someone ever think of entering the famous Holy of Holies? It was probably something people did not think about, maybe people were extremely afraid of being in the presence of God, they had heard of many stories about the holiness of God and things that happened to people who did not “follow the rules” in the temple or with the ark. “God is holy and you’re not. So don’t even think of going there!” was probably what lots of people thought.
I think it is truly amazing that we can make songs like this and sing such things like “take me in to the holy of holies”. If we’d be Jews it’d be really wrong 2000 years ago, but being gentiles, like most of us are… people would have thought we’d be out of our minds, totally crazy or demon possessed maybe.
It might seem foolish to Jews who don’t believe in Jesus as their Messiah right now to hear Christians sing such songs, but we know the Messiah Jesus came, died for our sins, was raised from the dead and opened the heavy, think curtain that separated the “holy place” from the “Holy of Holies” inviting all –Jews and Gentiles alike- to approach God, being purified not by the blood of goats or calves, but by the holy blood of the Son of God, God Himself.
Isn’t that amazing that we can come to the Holy of Holies, into the presence of God?!

“And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit. At that moment, the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.” Mat.27:50-51

“Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is His body, and since we have a great high priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having out hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water…” Heb.10:19-22

BANK FOR NATIVE MISSIONARIES: 7$/as of May 11, 2006.

Prayer

I was reading an email someone sent me and I was a bit surprised when I read the following sentence: “I know you're a woman of prayer”. It took me off guard. Not only didn’t I expect that person to think such things about me, but I simply thought that I was not a “woman of prayer”, not even a “21-year old girl of prayer”. When I think about it, it is a privilege that people watch me live and believe that I am someone who spends time in prayer and believe in prayer, but I know that it is not the reality in my day-to-day life.
To be real I think I don’t spend more than 15 minutes in prayer everyday. It’s not only that I don’t spend much time in prayer, but there are times when I don’t believe in prayer. Sometimes I believe prayer can be very powerful, but other times I just feel it’s a routine and nothing more comes out, I feel like I’m not talking to anybody, not even to the wall, I just feel that my words are empty because they come from an empty, distracted heart. Right now I know I should pray more. But prayer is a hard duty. It doesn’t come naturally, and when I decide to spend more time in prayer, I feel like I’m trying to be “religious” or “spiritual” and I feel so fake, isn’t that stupid of me to think that way?
Praying these weeks has been a 10-minute routine for me and I don’t know if I am willing to give God more time in that way. I know it sounds wrong to say such things, but it’s my reality. I’d rather think and write or read or do some little things then to stop everything, and pray. I keep thinking that I should pray… but I discard the idea every time because there are other things to do.
Right now, the only people I feel excited to pray for are Surender, a Native Missionary in India, Sun & Aiqing, two women in prison in China for their faith, and for the people who emailed me or left a comment with the names of people they want to reach with the Gospel.
Getting this email obviously made me think about how my “prayer life” has been and is right now. I am challenged to spend more time in prayer. I’m challenged by the thought of praying when I’m done writing this… I don’t feel like doing it, I feel like it’d be a waste of time. Oh man, I hope I do pray more and believe in the power of the One who listens to my words on the behalf of those I pray for.

What is a woman/man of prayer actually?
gabeleroux@yahoo.ca

BANK FOR NATIVE MISSIONARIES: 7$/as of May 9, 2006.

Seems like the Prairies to Me!

I have been going for walks lots, the weather is so nice here. And I now have the habit of bringing my camera with me. So I’ll be sharing a few pictures I’ve been taking these last days around my little village. Enjoy.

I hope and pray the reader is not annoyed with my passion for Gospel for Asia’s Native Missionaries and their needs in their work. I just thought I should write a little bit about our last gift to them. On April 28 I sent Gospel for Asia the 17$ that was in the “Bank for Native Missionaries”. For April 2006, all the monies that readers of this blog, others and myself gave, was sent to help provide VBS child packets to children of Asia who are attending these VBS programs. They were 1$ each, so by giving 17$ together, we were able to provide 17 children with a few things to help them learn and participate in the program and help them share Jesus at home (see April 6 post for more info). I didn’t really take the time to realize that we literally gave 17 kids the means to hear and understand more about Jesus. Isn’t that neat? Anyways, I believe it’s a great privilege we have to be able to participate in the work of our Lord Jesus not only here in Canada & the States or wherever you are, but in the 10/40 window as well.

We just got a 7$ in this month’s funds for Native Missionaries. Thanks to the person who gave. I say “we” because it is not “my” bank even though I take care of it. It is the gift of different people put together to amount to a little bit more than if we’d be by ourselves. As you read this blog and about Gospel for Asia’s Native Missionaries’ needs, please take the time to look in your wallet and see how much you’ve got in the “change pocket”, think about it and send Gospel for Asia your few loonies or quarters, or send them to me to put your money in the Bank for Native Missionaries. This month I will send the money on May 31 and it will go towards providing a bicycle (bicycles are 130$ each) to a Native Missionary out there.
In the name of these Missionaries, thank you so much!

Gospel for Asia’s mailing address in Canada
245 King St. E, Stoney Creek, ON, L8G 1L9

My mailing address
Gabrielle
Box 196, Hepburn, SK, S0K 1Z0
gabeleroux@yahoo.ca

Juice Powder

Today I needed to go to the grocery store to get some food and I had a little list of things I thought I’d like to get. Among other things I wrote “Juice Powder”… but I struggled with it. The thing is that I have water for free, and buying juice powder to make it taste sweet and fruity or for a change, is good and totally alright, but for me right now I didn’t think I needed it. Yes, I wanted to buy some because it’s nice, but I went to the store and did not buy any, because I knew I had water for free and I could save 3$ or so by not getting this juice powder. I just decided not to fulfill this actually not important desire of mine. People would argue that because it is such a little, non-important and cheap desire, I should have gotten it. It’s a really lame argument. Why 3$ would make a difference anyways? It doesn’t make much of a difference right now in my bank account, that’s true. But if week after week I discard little things like that and choose to not have little “side” things for my lunches and to buy every new cd I’d like, then it amounts to more money. I don’t see it though. So without really realizing it, I can save money for university. But more importantly, I can save money for God’s cause.

Why are we so often on our guards when people ask us to help with our wallet, missionary work or the poor around us or a special outreach project? Why is it so easy to buy things for ourselves and the people we love and so difficult to give money to help people spread the it is that way is that we are selfish, lack faith in God to provide for our own needs, and because we really do have little money in our bank accounts. It’s true that most of us aren’t rich, and that we actually probably have little money, just enough for the month, or just enough for the semester. That’s a true reality. I totally know and understand that many of us already don’t spend much or any money on things that are not needed, but I think that most of us do. I do not mean to say that by stopping to buy little things like apple sauce for our lunches and coffee at work and juice powder and a new t-shirt and a new cd here and there will make us rich. No. But obviously, it will keep a few more bucks in our bank accounts and when we’ll be called to help, for sure we’ll have a few extra bucks and for sure we’ll be able to partake in the offering, knowing that we gave up a few little comforts in order to help bring comfort to those who don’t even have a third of what we have.
If we have a hard time considering giving money to God’s cause outside our monthly tithe, we should consider why we usually don’t have a hard time considering buying things for ourselves. We always want to get things for our money, if we give, then we should get something in return right? But that’s not the way God wants things to work all the time. He calls us to live by faith, to be wise with our money and always be ready to help those in need knowing that He will provide for all our needs (understanding that He knows what we really need). Giving to missionary work or an outreach in your church or a kid going to bible college obviously does not give you anything like food or clothing or neat gadgets, but I can testify with little experience, that giving to God’s cause bring you joy, joy in realizing that you are a tangible part of the work that is being done because of your gift, or the food or help it brought to others in need.
So hopefully God will help me think and care more about the people around me and less about myself, I hope He will give me more grace to see what I can do to save money for His saints, His cause. And I pray that He will call this generation of Christians here in America to realize how rich we are and the great task and privilege we have in helping our people and His saints all around the globe spreading the name of Jesus by being always ready to give joyfully when we hear about their needs.

BANK FOR NATIVE MISSIONARIES: 7$/as of May 6, 2006.
Please know that I have not written this post to push you to give for this Bank. It’s simply something I have been realizing since several months and that struck me again with my juice powder dilemma. Be free to ask questions or leave a comment, thanks again for those who already gave to Gospel for Asia through this Bank! gabeleroux@yahoo.ca

Genesis 1 & 2

So I am reading this book called “Finally Feminist” trying to figure out what the author is saying and if it’s interpretation of biblical texts are … biblical. It’s tough. But anyways, I noticed that the author has this different belief about the account of creation. I remember reading Genesis 1 & 2 when I was younger and thinking that there was something that I was never told before, it seemed to me that God had created human beings first and then, (chapter 2) had created Adam and then Eve from his rib. But I came to realize that it was not so later on in life.
So this author (John G. Stackhouse, Jr.) believes that:
- “Genesis 1 records that the human being was created in God’s image and as male and female in that image (Gen. 1:26-27).”
- “The second, and different creation story of Genesis 2 shows the human being divided by God into male and female. The self-consciousness of the previously undivided human “goes with” the male, and it is he who then recognizes and celebrates the female as his partner upon their differentiation.”
- “… Genesis 1, in which male and female are created at the same time as the image of God.”
I am not even sure what this guy is saying, especially because of my “French understanding of English” as I like to put it. I agree that God created human beings, male and female, in chapter 1 in His image, but I don’t understand why he says that in Genesis 2 that the “human being” is divided by God into male and female and by saying that, implying that in chapter 1 the “human being” was not divided into male and female.

I am actually tired right now and should go to bed. I am mixed up in these thoughts. I don’t believe that chapter 2 is a “second and different creation story” as if we would say that Mark is a second and different life of Jesus… Actually, maybe these words are proper… but I simply think visually. Think of a funnel. Well, Genesis 1 is in the bigger part of the funnel, and Genesis 2 is in the tiny, narrow part of it. Meaning that both are the same account, 1 is a general account of the creation, and 2 is a focus on the creation of the first human being and the second, namely, Adam & Eve.

Any theologians around? I think that names starting with “J” would be good people to comment these quotes and my tired thoughts. Careful, your name might start with “J” and you might have no clue… I’m thinking about at least to people. So think and email me gabeleroux@yahoo.ca or leave a comment. If your name doesn’t start with “J” but you do have some ideas, please leave a comment, it’s always nice if other people like me, who don’t have a clue about these things can read your thoughts.

A word from my friend KP Yohannan

Can you ride a bicycle with one person sitting on the top bar in front of you and one on the backseat?
To make things more interesting, can you pedal your friends on a treacherous dirt path through kilometres of fields and forest? And can you do it on an old, worn-out bike with no fenders, pedals that barely stay on, a chain that comes off frequently and a front brake that hangs by a little wire?
If your answer is “yes” to all of these questions, then you just qualified to join Pastor Raji’s evangelism team in India’s Andhra Pradesh state!
Pastor Raji has a great vision to take the Gospel to the many villages that surround his church. And God has given him six young men from his congregation who are on fire for the Lord and eager to help make it happen –so eager, in, fact, that when they go on outreach with their pastor, three of them ride on each of their two old bicycles!
Because some of the young men are students and the others have full-time jobs, the time they have available to visit interior villages is limited to the late afternoons and weekends. And that’s why their transportation is so crucial.
It takes Pastor Raji and his team two hours of walking to reach a village that is three miles away –but they can get there in half an hour by bicycle. With the bikes, they also can transport much-needed Gospel literature for distribution. Most of all, they can travel much farther, visit two villages instead of just one, preserve much-needed energy for their actual evangelism work, and return home the same evening.
On their old, worn-out bicycles, the team took the Gospel to 50 villages within six months. As a result, many souls were saved and churches were planted in several places.
But just imagine how much more they could do if Pastor Raji’s old bicycle could be replaced by a new one and the team could have three additional bikes for their outreach!
No doubt it would greatly accelerate their effectiveness. And the missionaries who pedal the bikes would be grateful if they only had to give a ride to one team member instead of two.
In South Asia, bicycles are crucial ministry tool, especially in rural areas where public transportation is limited and often unreliable. Unfortunately, few of our native missionaries can afford to buy the rugged bicycles that are specially built for the difficult roads they travel.
… It has been reported to me that a least 2000 of our native missionaries like Pastor Raji urgently need bicycles to be able to reach the many communities that lie all around their towns and villages.
And you can make a difference. In fact, you can provide one of our missionaries with a heavy-duty Asian bicycle for only 130$ -and double or triple his or her effectiveness overnight!
The wonderful thing is, the impact of your gift will be seen immediately: Many more villages will be reached with the Gospel, and thousands of people will have the opportunity to receive Jesus as their Savior and Lord –all because of your gift.
So I ask you to prayerfully consider how God would have you participate in this tremendous opportunity to help our native missionaries. Whether you can provide one bicycle or a dozen bicycles –or make a gift toward providing one- you will be sharing the wonderful Good New of Jesus Christ with thousands of men, women, and children who have never before heard His name.
And in the light of eternity, helping others find salvation is the most important thing we can do with our lives. I pray that God’s blessings will be upon you as you follow Him.
Yours for Asia’s unreached,
K.P. Yohannan
President of Gospel for Asia
www.gfa.org


BANK FOR NATIVE MISSIONARIES: 0$/as of May 4, 2006. All of May’s monies will be given toward providing one bike. Please email me gabeleroux@yahoo.ca if you’d like to partake in this neat opportunity!

Verry Funny... ya.

It seems that God likes to be a bit sarcastic with me at times and He loves to smile at me. Since a few weeks the cooks at Bethany had compelled me to go to a “Salad Fiesta” held at Bethany, yesterday night. I just didn’t feel like going, to be with two hundred or so ladies my mom’s age and up for a supper of variety of salads and hear a woman talk about some “biblical” stuff for women did not appeal to me. I kept telling the cooks “Listen, I am 21, I would not enjoy learning about salads, I’m just not interested!” The day of the Salad Fiesta arrived, Monday May 1st. As I left home to go to work that morning I found an envelope with my name on, where my landlord usually left my mail. I opened it and I found a card from her, with a ticket for the Salad Fiesta. She had bought a ticket and hoped I’d be able to go. MAN. You should have seen the smile on my face. It’s not that I was happy to be able to go, I laughed at how sarcastic this whole thing was. I simply could not refuse to go, this lady who knew not that I did not desire to go, gave me a ticket thinking I’d be glad. I had to go, I had no excuse. I told my friend at work and she really laughed at me. I was stuck. So I went. The cooks were really surprised to see me there and for sure, laughed at me when I told them the story. The evening was good. I’m glad I went. What is even funnier is that they had a draw, I usually never win anything (except when I put my name 10 times in a 50-name draw, which I did one time…) but anyways, my name was drawn and I won at beautiful garden thermometer. What am I going to do with that? I am not a women and I don’t have a garden! I tried to trade it for a Bethany hoody a staff got… but it didn’t work.

So what’s the point of my little story? I’m not really sure. But I feel at times that God loves to lead me where I don’t want to go, with a big smile on His face, sort of laughing at me because He knows it’s not going to hurt me, or simply because it’s funny to change Gabe’s plans. I think it’s funny too. And I’m glad God has this sense of humour with me. It makes life more interesting and laughing at me is always good for me.
This little, non-important situation in my life reminds me of a verse that I read a few days ago in Acts 26:14, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads” The NTL says “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? It is useless for you to fight against me.” The LS (French) says, “Saul, Saul, pourquoi me persécutes-tu? Il te serait dur de regimber contre les aguillons. » The version that makes the more sense to me, is the NLT, the French has some obscure meaning, and the word “goads” from the NIV doesn’t mean a thing to me. So even though I don’t like NLT, I like this verse because it makes sense to me and hopefully, it’s rendering the right meaning of the verse. I think that sometimes God says the same thing to me, “Gabe, why are you persecuting me? It is useless for you to fight against me.” I don’t think I was fighting God when I did not want to go to the Salad thing. But it makes me think that sometimes I want to go against the will of God and I am fighting for my own point of view, my own so-called “rights” and desires. But God says “It’s useless to fight against me”.

I am learning that God’s will is supreme, that I can choose to fight against it or to give in. To me, fighting is characterized by transpiration and giving in is characterized by rest. To fight against God is useless and will bring us only backaches. To surrender to Him will give us rest as we trust that He knows what He’s doing. Our rest may be accompanied by nightmares (fears because of uncertainty) and a couple of “wake up in the middle of the night” (not understanding why God’s will is so), but it is useless (no use) to fight against God. And I’d add, it is no fun either.

Let us embrace our today, let us surrender with faith to the Holy Spirit that leads us in paths we don’t know or in places we feel lost. It’s ok.

BANK FOR NATIVE MISSIONARIES: 0$/as of May 2, 2006.