My Peace

I am usually not under pressure, or at least, I usually don’t feel it. But right now, tonight, I feel anxiety growing in my soul. It’s been a month now that I’ve been spending planning for this one-week camp, 99% of all my evenings and 50% of my weekends were burned up in thinking and organizing. Now that my departure from Saskatchewan is coming up very soon it means that camp is awaiting me right at the arrival area in the Montréal airport. Well, not exactly, but it feels like it. And even though it’s not something I am used to experience, I feel anxiety in me. I feel like there are too many details to think and ask and talk about, too many things I need to buy yet, so much to plan, man. I feel overwhelmed still I know it’ll be alright. I know it.
At lunch time I was reading a book, “Peace shall destroy many”, and I am glad I read a chapter instead of staring at the lounge by myself.

“According to Christ’s teaching, peace is not a circumstance but a state of being. ... He brought no outward quiet and comfort such as we are ever praying for. Rather, He brought inward peace that is no way affected by outward war, but quietly overcomes it on life’s real battle-field: the soul of man.”

Oh, this is a novel by the way. This is probably the only novel I like, I usually strongly dislike them. But anyways. As I struggle with “everything that needs to be thoughts of and be done” my soul should remain at peace. The worry and questions and overwhelming feelings should go away because that stuff and all circumstances are under the lordship of Christ Jesus. I will do my best to obey my Lord and serve His people, but I am learning right now that I need to have my soul at rest in Jesus first of all, the outcome is in His hand amen.

Jesus I need you so much. In the midst of thinking and planning and organizing, bring your Shalom to my soul, may I trust you, Ruler over all. Thank you so much.

Bank for Native Missionaries: 8$ as of June 21, 2006 www.banknm.blogspot.com