It's a bit tough right now

Sorrow is heavy on my heart tonight. I haven’t taken the time to write on this blog for a while because I spent pretty much all my free time with my friends. This week was the last week of school, so I did not feel like writing or calling people or anything of the kind, I just wanted to appreciate the last moments with the people here. Today was commencement (graduation) at Bethany and now most students are gone. I find myself alone and I really feel empty. I feel like a stranger in this flat land. I guess my circle of friends here were my family, my life, but now they’re gone. It feels like I don’t know what I am doing here anymore since the people I love are far away. I hate having to say good bye to those dear to my heart, it is so hard. I went for a walk to cry out to Jesus and I’ve been realizing that I go to Him mostly when things are hard, harder than I expected them to be. I don’t seek Him as much when things go well. I’m learning that I cannot do anything against the seasons that come and go in my life. That I must embrace what is before me, it is useless to look behind me day after day. A neat season of good times is now over, and I am entering in a new season in my life. I see it as a season of drought, where I’ll experience solitude as my daily bread (even in crowds) but a time when I’ll draw closer to Jesus, because He’ll be the only one I can cry out to. I’m not sure why I’m writing this in my blog. To be sincere, to write about anything else would be a bit fake from me. I usually never write about how my heart’s doing, but today has been a tough day and I don’t feel like writing about anything else. I wonder what Jesus wants to teach me and how my next two and a half months here at Bethany will be like. I want to cling to yesterday, but I can’t. It’s just too hard for my heart to say good bye to people I know I probably won’t ever see again in this life.
Please pray for me. I may look strong and I often think I am. But really, I’ve got nothing to boast about. Again I realize how weak and frail I am. Pray, not that I’ll find joy again, I know I need to go through this drought, so pray that I’ll be sensitive to Jesus’ voice and learn to follow Him every day. Pray that I’ll find ways to serve Him and his people with contentment. Please, feel free to email me gabeleroux@yahoo.ca or drop a comment here to let me know about your prayer requests. I know that spending my time sighing about my own little difficulties is not healthy, if I can pray for other people’s hardships, it’ll free me somehow. I know.

Mountain of God
Third Day
I thought that I was all alone - Broken and afraid
But you were there with me - Yes, you were there with me
And I didn’t even know - That I had lost my way
But you were there with me - Yes you were there with me
‘Til you opened up my eyes - I never knew
That I couldn’t ever make it - Without you

Even though the journey’s long – And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who’s gone before me – He will help me carry on
And after all that I’ve been through - Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley – To stand upon the mountain of God

As I travel on the road - That you have led me down
You are here with me – Yes you are here with me
I have need for nothing more – Oh now that I have found
That you are here with me – Yes you are here with me
I confess from time to time - I lose my way
But you are always there - To bring me back again

Sometimes I think of where it is I’ve come from
And the things I’ve left behind - But of all I’ve had, what I possessed
Nothing can quite compare - With what’s in front of me


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