Have you ever met someone who thought he was special, that he was the exception to the rule? (I say “he” but it can be a “she”). Well you might be one and somehow, to some extent, I believe that we all think we are special and can do things differently or pass by the rules everyone else has to follow without being stopped. Anyways, I just have a hard time with that type of people right now.
I don’t know where to draw the line. When is it time to be gracious (again) to them, to yield to their requests, to feed them whatever the wish… and when is it time to simply say no? I don’t know. It bothers me so much these days. I tend to be legalistic and stick to the rules, I enjoy being gracious to people as well and grant them a little something they aren’t supposed to get. But when that same person comes around regularly and chat and ask for a favour or a cookie or… I have a hard time knowing if I should be gracious again, or if I should say no. I feel like I should always be gracious when I can (and if I think of it, I probably can all the time), hoping that one day the person will wake up and realize how privileged she is… and start to be thankful and change the way she asks for stuff from me or etc. But at the same time, I believe that people need to be told the truth in the face. But the thing is that I am not gracious from the heart, I do it with frustration and when I say no, I fear to hurt people ‘cause I am frustrated and need to explain why the person can’t have the “cookie”.
I think I make NO SENSE to the reader here. I don’t have much time, so I can’t go further in my thoughts (or frustrations actually). But please, if you have any idea or tips about the topic of how to know where to draw the line between saying yes and no… please leave a comment or email me gabeleroux@yahoo.ca I think I have some common sense and I know when I should say yes and no, but it’s more about little things, privileges allowed to the same person all the time…
In the next entry: In Response to an Email…
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1 comment:
Hum...tough.
Here's my favorite rule of thumb: Be honest.
But the corollary to that rule is:
Be "graceful" in your honesty.
I know we have different personalities, so maybe this won't be the same with you, but...sometimes I'm more scared to be honest with people than I am worried about hurting them.
Um...what I mean is, I can be worried about their reaction to me, rather than worried about how they'll feel. So, it may be hard to be honest with someone who is behaving in a way that frustrates you, but take the risk of being honest. It's good. It might turn out bad, but it could turn out that the person understands and modifies their behavior, and you will have a more open relationship with the person afterwards.
That being said, in communicating with others, it's so easy to have misunderstandings. So, it's important to be careful the person understands you're not attacking them, that you still like them, just not their behavior.
Yeah, if you feel they are asking too much of you or others, but you never talk about it with them and your frustration builds inside, that puts pressure on you and maybe you'll just blow up. (hehe)
Hope this helps. Make the effort to go see the person and talk it over, Gabe, I think it's best.
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