Since years I had the habit of reading a few chapters of the Bible in the morning. During the two years I spent at Bible School I had a little devotional book in which I had to answer two questions “What is the author saying?” and “How can I put it into practice today?” about the passage of Scripture I had to read. Most of the time I did it very quickly and couldn’t find much to “flesh out”. My answers were always very general, not so practical for me, today. Anyways, since several weeks I’ve been thinking and convinced that simply “reading” the Word of God was not enough. My time in the morning was more like a spiritual fast-food than a real good, healthy meal. It’s not that I would never take the time to meditate and journal on certain passages, I would take the time to do that when I felt like it, maybe one a week or less. These were good times. But I’ve been realizing that to meditate on the Word only when I feel for it, kept me from many blessings when I started (a week or so ago) to take the time to meditate on what I read, every morning. I knew since long that I should take the time to meditate more, but it meant getting early in the morning, I guess I had the excuse that I was already getting up early enough to spend 30 minutes reading the Bible (to be able to read the whole book in a year) and that I spent a little later 20 minutes reading and praying, and all of that in the morning before going to work. I did not feel like getting even earlier, but I felt that my routine was not so good, or lacked something. I did not want to cut my 30 minute reading ‘cause I would not be able to read the whole Bible in a year, something I’ve done since years and that I find very precious for me to keep doing. I would get up at 6:30am to read for 30 minutes and then go back to sleep and get up at 8:00 to shower and etc. and then have my 20 minutes. (My lazy nature likes the idea of going back to bed for an hour again) so a certain morning, I got up and read my 30 minutes, then I thought I’d read the two chapters I was going to read in my 20 minutes right now instead of going back to sleep. I found myself with a whole hour before showering. I took the time to read closely and to be interested by the words. I wrote down what I was taught and continued on to pray about what I read and thanking God for the blessings I had found in His Word that morning. My spirit was light and bold, ready to apply His instructions. It was good. So I decided to give up my sleep since, and I journal on what the Lord teaches me, and He does, every morning.
Here’s my entry for this morning, February 9 2006. I was delighted to read about godliness and self-control… since I’ve been thinking about these a lot these last several weeks. It’s about Titus 2:11-end
“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age. … Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own, eager to do what is good.”
These last several weeks I have been thinking about godliness and self-control and disciplines. I’ve always believed that being self-controlled was good but I never really fought for it, until a few weeks ago. I realize that disciplining myself is based on two things, if one is practiced without the other, I am incomplete and not really self-controlled. First, discipline pushes me to “do” godly things and second, it pushes me to “say no” to ungodliness. I know it sounds obvious, the thing is that it’s very easy for me to “do” good things, but it’s very hard to “say no” to ungodliness and worldly passions. By writing “to do good things” I’m not saying that I do them heartlessly just because I have to or acting as a Pharisee, just for outward appearances and to receive praise from men, but I mean that I do good things pushed by the Spirit of God, but it’s something terribly hard to say no to things that are not good, to be self-controlled. I don’t know what it says about me when I push myself to fast and give up some sleep, but I fall so easily into sin, choosing to disobey the Spirit of God because it gratifies the desires of my sinful nature. I am learning to say no, and I trust that disciplining myself to meditate and pray and journal and flesh out God’s teachings, will give me strength and a renewed mind to say no to ungodliness.
Why would I want to starve my appetites for laziness, selfishness, pride, unbelief, evil? Why? I mean, why do I want to be godly and obedient to God’s will? Why would “I beat my body and make it my slave” (I Cor. 9:27)? Yeah Jesus died for me and saved me, but really, what’s the reason? Christians might say stuff like “We want to be like Jesus because He gave us so much” or “We obey Christ out of love for Him” or etc. these things are totally true and proper and should be the reasons why I want to obey God and live a godly life. But the point Paul makes in Titus, or the reason he gives us why we should “say no to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled and godly lives” is because Jesus saved us (1) to REDEEM us from all WICKEDNESS and (2) TO PURIFY for Himself a people that are His very own, EAGER to do what is good. So basically I am saved to be purified from wickedness, being zealous (/eager) to do what is good. I am not saved so I would live a happy life on earth and in heaven (even though I will experience great joys by fighting for godliness), but I am saved because Jesus wants to purify me from all evil, He wants me to be His own. So if I want to be godly, it should be based on the truth that it is why Jesus came on earth and died for me. He died so I would become holy, not in order to give me back parents and siblings and friends who died when I go to heaven. Jesus died so I would be eager to do what is good.
I know that many times, I am not eager to do what is good, because my sinful nature is in the way and desires what is opposite to the Spirit of God (Gal. 5:17). So, can I be eager without desiring to be eager? In the sense that I am zealous to obey God without really feeling like obeying? I don’t know. But I think that this is part of what it is to live by faith. I trust God will honor me if I say no to ungodliness, simply because I desire to obey Him. Well, actually I guess I am eager to do what is right if I desire to obey God’s will… but still. Anyways. I guess that if I look at my flesh, I will get the feeling that I don’t want to do good, and if I look at my renewed mind in Christ, I will get the feeling that I eagerly want to obey God’s Spirit. So.
I encourage (strongly) that we spend more time meditating on the Word of God, I find many blessings in doing so and I think it’s regrettable that I spent so many years just reading every morning without thinking and seeking God’s teaching every morning.
Feel free to leave any comments or email me about this entry. Do not take any of what I write as being the truth. These are only my thoughts about what I read and meditate on in the Bible. I hope it is a challenge to you. gabeleroux@yahoo.ca
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